Sports Betting Odds Converter - Convert & Calculate

Sports Betting Odds

If you are brand new to gambling, among those very first affairs which you ought to do is study how sports betting odds get the job done. It truly is critically essential as it enables one to fully grasp just how probable an event is to come about, and also exactly what your prospective winnings will probably undoubtedly be. In the beginning, it might seem perplexing, but study our guidebook and then let's clarify it for you personally. In gaming, chances signify the ratio involving the numbers by celebrations into some bet or guess. So, chances of 3 to 1 inch signal the very first bash (the bookmaker) bets three times the total staked from the next party (that the bettor).
Just how Can Sports bet Odds Perform?
Sports betting chances are intended to, so in a glimpse, provide people a notion of just how likely it really is that every team will triumph in addition to just how much you will produce using a prosperous wager on such final result. To put it differently, you need to utilize these to have yourself a fast concept of this underdog, and your favoured.
To make a decision as to what chances they supply, bookmakers consider a reach of facets. This may possibly incorporate everything from exactly what additional Sportsbooks are presenting right through to the consequences of prior matchups. They will fix those chances in real-time, dependent on facets such as harms and also the current weather, in addition to that the quantity of cash supplied by bettors on just about every final result.
What Exactly Is Probability?
Even the most introductory amount, gambling supplies you with all the skills to anticipate the results of the particular celebration, also when a forecast is not right, and you will acquire more money. To almost any specific occasion, there really is a particular selection of results. Simply take rolling out a stunt for example.
If a person rolls a dice, then you can find just six potential consequences. Hence, in the event you gamble that anyone rolls a '1 ', then there will be really a 16.67% opportunity which will take place. What gambling chances simply do is demonstrate the way the event is really to occur. so, a portion, i.e. 4/7, as the huge majority additionally offers you the capacity to look at them as decimals. Yet again, why do not we discuss? We all will eventually become evident.
Odds - What to Pick?
Selecting which arrangement of chances to produce if online sports betting is down to some question of private taste. This may most likely, however, perhaps not at all times, function as the form of chances associated by at which your home is. We have to find most of the sports betting internet sites give the choice to decide on which form of chances that you wish to see if you are taking a look at setting a bet. In addition, there are chances calculators out there that are able to enable you to switch between several kinds of odds. The very main point is the fact that it will not matter which kind of chances you prefer to make use of: you will not get or shed additional dollars by deciding upon a particular means of seeing chances. It hence creates the best way to pick the one which you're most relaxed together and utilize it if potential.
Strategies for Putting a Wager
You learn more on the topic of calculating betting, along with different techniques they can be displayed, then you should use this advice in your favor if setting the next wager. Under, you are going to discover a couple of our best hints for employing your new-found awareness about this subsequent bet you put!
  1. Do Not Be Scared to Look Around
Many Sportsbooks will upgrade their chances predicated on real-life effects quicker than some others. Equipped with all the wisdom the way to exactly calculate prospective winnings, then you are able to find out exactly what constitutes the absolute most rewarding wager for you personally, in case you wind up profitable.
  1. Check out frequently
It is crucial that you maintain a watch out for your likelihood, preferably utilizing a smartphone or tablet in the event that you should be about the go. In the event you notice chances switching fast in one path then it really is probably something that has shifted (e.g. weather conditions, spot, or some essential accident). This may possibly influence that which you right back into the competition, or how far you really bet.
  1. Gauge the danger
Utilize exactly what you understand about chances to discover that which you look at as a decent degree of hazard in case gambling in an underdog. $1 wagered on 20/1 chances, as an instance, somewhat very low hazard stake regarding maximum drawback. Many bettors could but feel uneasy gambling $100 on 100/1 chances (in spite of the massive possible benefit) since the chances are stacked so heavily towards you personally.
  1. Remain in the understand
Be sure that you benefit from insider understanding. Bookies, say, may possibly only possibly not be around date up what is happening in upcoming NFL fittings in contrast to a super fan who considers breaking-news reports. This really is the reason it could be of help to bet to a game you are a real lover of or do your homework before setting your stake.
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Tennis Betting - Tips For Exchange Betting on Tennis Matches

By choosing tennis as your preferred sport for betting, you have already given yourself an "edge" against those who bet on or offer odds on other sports. To use this "edge" to make money consistently, however, you'll need to understand two fundamental principles first. Then apply the power of mathematics.
Principle #1
It is sheer folly to place a tennis bet (or a bet on anything) with a "traditional" bookmaker. The expression "You can't beat the bookie" is axiomatic; you just cannot beat the bookie over time. It's because the odds are always mathematically calculated in favour of the bookmaker. Everyone knows (or should know) that the bookie's mathematical "edge" against the punter is necessary for him to make a profit so that he can stay in business.
Computer technology has given rise to a new form of betting, known as "exchange betting" or "matched betting". With "betting exchanges" there is no bookie to beat; in other words, there is no middle-man. Every punter bets against another punter or punters somewhere out there in the Internet ether. Any punter (or "trader") can place a "back" bet that a player or team will win, and/or place a "lay" bet that a player or team will lose. Thus, any punter can choose to act as an ordinary bettor and/or as a bookmaker.
With exchange betting the odds are not set by a third-party or middle-man; they are set by the punters themselves, who place requests for odds at which they are prepared to place bets (if they wish to act as an ordinary bettor), or place offers of odds at which they are prepared to lay bets (if they wish to act as a bookmaker).
As the "back" bettors gradually lower their requested odds and the "lay" bettors gradually raise their offered odds, the software on the exchange betting web site matches all the back bets with all the lay bets at the instant they coincide. The accounts of the "backers" or "layers" are then credited with their winnings automatically a few seconds after the end of the event according to its result.
Obviously, the technology for providing such a "fair" betting service must be paid for somehow. This payment is taken in the form of a commission on the punter's net winnings on an event (or "market"). That is, commission is charged only on any positive difference between winnings and losses on the same event.
This betting system is as close to a perfectly fair betting environment as it is possible to achieve.
There are very few betting exchanges in existence, however, perhaps because the exchange betting software is so complex and therefore costly. The giant among exchange betting web sites is Betfair, with about 90% of the market at the time of writing. Others are the Global Betting Exchange (BetDAQ), ibetX, Betsson, Matchbook and the World Bet Exchange (WBX). Betfair is by far the most popular because it was the first to offer this "perfectly fair" betting environment, and is trusted to perform accurately and instantly.
Principle #2
So, why does tennis betting give you that "edge" over betting on other sports? The answer, though simple, is often overlooked even by those who bet tennis regularly. And if you're someone who's never bet on tennis, you'd almost certainly not have realized the significance of the tennis scoring system on the betting.
Consider this fundamental difference between the tennis scoring system and that of probably any other sport you can think of.
In other sports and games the trailing player or team must make up the points gap by winning a point for every point they have already lost in order to catch up to the leader. Only then can they start to move ahead. This fact seems obvious.
In tennis, however, the trailing player or team can lose the first set 6-0 (possibly with a deficit of 24 points). That team can then win the second set by the most narrow of margins, 7-6 in a tie-break, winning the set by very few points (or even by winning fewer points than the opponents, a rare but possible occurrence!).
As soon as the trailing player or team wins the second set, the two sides suddenly have even scores, even though one player or team might have actually won many more points than the opponents.
This anomaly often has a profound psychological effect on one or both sides, which affects the way they play for the next few minutes, and therefore also the betting odds requested and offered by punters on the match. This, however, is another aspect of tennis betting which may be the subject of another article. This article deals with the mathematical aspect of tennis betting and how to win money with this knowledge.
How to win at tennis betting
Now that you're aware of these two fundamental principles, how can you use them to your advantage when making tennis bets?
The key is not to be just a "backer" or a "layer", simply betting on the final outcome of an event. If you do that, you will lose out over time, because there's always a small difference between the "back" odds and the "lay" odds -- there must be, otherwise there'd be no incentive for anyone to offer odds and there'd be no betting at all. Combine that with the commission you pay on your net winnings, and the "edge" is against you mathematically (although it is not as great as with conventional bookmakers).
The secret to winning at tennis betting is to be BOTH a "backer" AND a "layer", but at different points during the event. This is another aspect of betting that distinguishes the exchange betting web site from the traditional bookie. At the betting exchange you can place a back or lay bet at any time during the event, right up until the very last second or the final point. This is known as "in-play" betting.
Because in-play betting is allowed, the odds for each opposing side change as the event progresses, according to the likelihood (as perceived by the punters) of either one side or the other being the eventual winner. The trick is to place a back bet on one side at certain odds and later place a lay bet on that side (or a back bet on the other side) at better odds as fortunes change and the odds swing in your favour. If you can achieve this, you will win your bet overall, regardless of the outcome of the event -- a true "win-win" scenario.
Why bet on tennis and not on other sports?
Apart from Principle #2, explained earlier, tennis is ideal for such "swing" betting, because the odds fluctuate after every point is played. There are therefore very many small swings to one side and then to the other. This doesn't happen in soccer, for example, because goals are so rare and a goal shifts the advantage suddenly and hugely to the scoring side.
Furthermore, a tennis match can have one of only two results; there can be no draw or tie; and one of only two players or teams can win. In horse racing, for example, the winner can come from a large number of runners.
The more possible outcomes there are to factor into the equation, the more difficult it is to win. (Despite this obvious logic, soccer and horse racing remain the two most popular sports for betting, probably for historical reasons. Tennis is already third in popularity, however, as more and more punters discover the fact that it is easier to make money betting on tennis than on any other sport.)
"In-play" betting or "pre-event" betting?
Now that you have -- it is hoped -- understood and absorbed the generalities of exchange betting and the peculiarities of tennis scoring, it is time to explain the details of how you can win at tennis betting.
Earlier it was stated that the secret to winning at tennis betting is to be both a "backer" and a "layer", but at different points during the event, placing bets at different times during the event as fortunes change and the odds swing in your favour. This can be done with both "in-play" betting and "pre-event" betting.
One method used with in-play betting is called "scalping". As its name suggests, scalping involves skimming a tiny profit by backing or laying at exactly the right moment as the odds move slightly in your favour, perhaps when one player scores two or three consecutive points, and repeating the process again and again. The biggest drawback of scalping is that it is very time-consuming and fraught with mental and physical tension. Not only must you pay full attention to what's happening during the match by live video broadcast, but you must also catch exactly the right moments at which to bet, which is, in fact, made impossible by the 5-second delay imposed by the exchange betting software between the time you place the bet and the time it is accepted.
We're not elaborating on this here because, as stated previously, this article is about winning by mathematics, not by the sweat of your brow. The maths aspect involves betting, not during the event, but before the event starts. That is, pre-event betting.
Mathematics do not lie!
There are a few tennis betting "systems", some purely manual, others using software programs, some of which are enormously complicated. From the investigations of the writer (a mathematician), they all require the input, at some point, of a "probability factor" by the bettor. This probability factor is usually the odds at which you want your "balancing" bet (the "lay" bet on the "backed" side or the "back" bet on the opposing side) to be triggered, giving you the "win-win" scenario mentioned earlier.
So, how do you determine the value of this probability factor? That, dear reader, is the crucial point of the whole matter, the linch-pin that holds any exchange betting "system" together and determines whether it succeeds or fails, whether you win or lose.
Up to now, it seems, this probability factor has had to be determined by the sheer experience of a few seasoned professional gamblers, or by trial-and-error guesswork by lesser mortals. Little wonder that so many punters lose or do not win as much as they could because they do not know the EXACT value needed to optimize their bets!
Accuracy is of paramount importance when determining the probability factor, in order to maximize the chances of winning consistently. A search on the Web for a tool to calculate it proved negative. The writer therefore created one that encompasses not only all aspects of exchange betting but also the peculiarities of the tennis scoring system, and called it the Abacus Exchange Betting Calculator, for want of a better name. The probability factor is calculated to two decimal places, merely by entering the pre-event odds of both opposing sides, and has enabled the writer to make consistently more than 10% profit from tennis betting since Wimbledon 2009.
As a parallel test, the writer also placed bets according to "gut feeling", in sufficient numbers to establish a trend. It resulted in a loss of 10% of the working capital (or "bank").
Other tests were done, using the Abacus Exchange Betting Calculator, by betting on other sports where small odds swings occur, such as American Football, snooker and darts (very long matches only, otherwise the swings are too large). The results here just about covered the commissions paid on winnings; so, it is not worthwhile.
It seems, then, that the particular mathematical formula or algorithm (which is very complex) discussed here works well only in conjunction with the unique scoring system of tennis.
Conclusion
As a scientist, the writer feels that it is highly probable to win at sports betting consistently over time only when the following factors are present:
  1. An exchange betting web site is used, not a conventional betting web site. (Beware of many sites that pretend to offer exchange betting by appearing in search engine results for "exchange betting"! Ensure that their software system enables you both to back and to lay bets at any odds you want against other punters, not against the house. If in doubt, check that their web site looks like the one at Betfair.)
AND
  1. The sport is tennis, because of its unique scoring system.
AND
3(a) You learn about and become experienced in in-play betting and are prepared to devote almost all your time glued to a computer screen while following each match, sometimes more than one simultaneously.
OR
3(b) You use software that tells you exactly the odds to request and offer and the stakes to place in pre-event betting in only a few minutes, thus allowing you to get on with your normal life.
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BETTING ODDS EXPLAINED

If you’re new to the world of gambling, you need to make sure that you understand the odds before you ever place a bet.
To put it simply, betting odds are a numerical representation of how likely an event is to occur. Take the example of rolling dice. Because there are six possible outcomes from one roll of the dice, there’s a 16.67% chance that you’ll be correct in your guess of which number will be rolled. That’s 100 divided by six, which equals 16.6666666667, to be exact. This translates to a coefficient 6/1 chance of any specific outcome, or 7.0 if you remove the bookie’s margin.
The same basic principle applies to flipping a coin—a coin has two sides, so you have a 50% chance of winning.
Odds can also tell you how much money you will win. Let’s say you’re betting on a team with 4/1 odds in a sporting event. If you bet £/€1 and your team wins, you’ll receive £/€4, plus your stake back for a total of £/€5.
Although it may be confusing at first, it’s pertinent that you grasp how betting odds work if you want to make a go of online gambling or sports betting.
There are basically three types of betting odds: fractional, decimal and U.S. style.

FRACTIONAL ODDS

📷
In the past, the most commonly used betting odds globally were fractional. They still remain the most commonly-used and understood in the UK, though Hong Kong and Malay odds are favored in other parts of the world.
When you see 4/1 odds, to use the example above, those are fractional odds. This means you have a one in four chance of winning, or a 20% chance. To put it another way, you also have an 80% chance of losing. That also means the winner will be paid £/€4 for every dollar or pound waged.
The same goes for 9/1 odds. You’ll win £/€9 for every dollar or pound waged, but you also have only a 10% chance of winning and a 90% chance of losing.

DECIMAL ODDS

Decimal odds are becoming increasingly popular among bookmakers, commonly known as bookies. Most often used in Europe and Asia, decimal odds use a number with a decimal point as opposed to the fractional format.
With 4/1 betting odds, the decimal odds are 5.0. To get this number, you take the percentage chance of winning (in this case, 20%) and see how many time it goes into 100. 100 divided by 20 is 5.
To figure out your winnings with decimal odds, you multiply the odds by your stake, and then subtract your stake from that number. For example, when the odds are 5.0 and you bet £/€10, you multiple 5 x 10 and then subtract 10, for total winnings of £/€40.

U.S. ODDS

In the United States, betting odds are expressed using the plus or minus sign. The plus sign indicates the favorite, while the minus is for the underdog. For example, the favorite team might have odds of +250, while the underdog’s odds are -150.
The numbers are calculated according to how much one must wager in order to win $100. Using the example above, you must bet $150 in order to win $100 for the underdog team. If you bet $150 on the underdog team and they win, your winnings will be $250 (your $150 stake + $100 winnings). On the other hand, if you bet $100 on the team with +250 odds, your winnings will total $350 (your $100 stake + $250 winnings). That said, the more you bet, the more you win, obviously. If you bet $150 rather than $100, your winnings with the favorite team would be $400 (your $150 stake + $250 winnings).
Now that you’ve had you know how betting odds work, you should have a better chance of winning, no matter which style of odds your bookie uses.
There are a number of online articles that can help you further understand how betting odds work. A little research can go a long way toward ensuring that you’re as successful as possible.
submitted by thanhthuy02 to u/thanhthuy02 [link] [comments]

BETTING ODDS EXPLAINED

If you’re new to the world of gambling, you need to make sure that you understand the odds before you ever place a bet.
To put it simply, betting odds are a numerical representation of how likely an event is to occur. Take the example of rolling dice. Because there are six possible outcomes from one roll of the dice, there’s a 16.67% chance that you’ll be correct in your guess of which number will be rolled. That’s 100 divided by six, which equals 16.6666666667, to be exact. This translates to a coefficient 6/1 chance of any specific outcome, or 7.0 if you remove the bookie’s margin.
The same basic principle applies to flipping a coin—a coin has two sides, so you have a 50% chance of winning.
Odds can also tell you how much money you will win. Let’s say you’re betting on a team with 4/1 odds in a sporting event. If you bet £/€1 and your team wins, you’ll receive £/€4, plus your stake back for a total of £/€5.
Although it may be confusing at first, it’s pertinent that you grasp how betting odds work if you want to make a go of online gambling or sports betting.
There are basically three types of betting odds: fractional, decimal and U.S. style.

FRACTIONAL ODDS

📷
In the past, the most commonly used betting odds globally were fractional. They still remain the most commonly-used and understood in the UK, though Hong Kong and Malay odds are favored in other parts of the world.
When you see 4/1 odds, to use the example above, those are fractional odds. This means you have a one in four chance of winning, or a 20% chance. To put it another way, you also have an 80% chance of losing. That also means the winner will be paid £/€4 for every dollar or pound waged.
The same goes for 9/1 odds. You’ll win £/€9 for every dollar or pound waged, but you also have only a 10% chance of winning and a 90% chance of losing.

DECIMAL ODDS

Decimal odds are becoming increasingly popular among bookmakers, commonly known as bookies. Most often used in Europe and Asia, decimal odds use a number with a decimal point as opposed to the fractional format.
With 4/1 betting odds, the decimal odds are 5.0. To get this number, you take the percentage chance of winning (in this case, 20%) and see how many time it goes into 100. 100 divided by 20 is 5.
To figure out your winnings with decimal odds, you multiply the odds by your stake, and then subtract your stake from that number. For example, when the odds are 5.0 and you bet £/€10, you multiple 5 x 10 and then subtract 10, for total winnings of £/€40.

U.S. ODDS

In the United States, betting odds are expressed using the plus or minus sign. The plus sign indicates the favorite, while the minus is for the underdog. For example, the favorite team might have odds of +250, while the underdog’s odds are -150.
The numbers are calculated according to how much one must wager in order to win $100. Using the example above, you must bet $150 in order to win $100 for the underdog team. If you bet $150 on the underdog team and they win, your winnings will be $250 (your $150 stake + $100 winnings). On the other hand, if you bet $100 on the team with +250 odds, your winnings will total $350 (your $100 stake + $250 winnings). That said, the more you bet, the more you win, obviously. If you bet $150 rather than $100, your winnings with the favorite team would be $400 (your $150 stake + $250 winnings).
Now that you’ve had you know how betting odds work, you should have a better chance of winning, no matter which style of odds your bookie uses.
There are a number of online articles that can help you further understand how betting odds work. A little research can go a long way toward ensuring that you’re as successful as possible.
submitted by thanhthuy02 to u/thanhthuy02 [link] [comments]

The Wreckline Races : Part One

The Wreckline Races

Humanity is the newest race to join galactic society. The Wreckline Organization is quick to snatch up the opportunity to add a totally noob planet to their race, which is known for extremely high death rates. It is blood-sport. Brutal, nasty, and treacherous.

Origin

[WP]The Human species are quickly becoming a feared fan favorite in the high stakes inter-galactic "Wreckline" team-deathmatch Racing events for their machinations, emotion laden crews, effectiveness and cunning brutality.
Original Prompt

Preface

With thanks to:

Prelude To Devastation

Negotiations with a producer of moving pictures and television shows is approached by a Wreckline Organization representative. The general format of the 'race' is laid out.
At this point, the human does not allow his name to be used. Later, he will only be known as 'Face'. A name that we still do not understand.
Face: "How do you determine the winner?"
Wreckline Organization Rep.: "First team who has any member in direct contact with the soil in the winning circle."
Face: "Do all obstacles have to be passed?"
WOR: "Of course!"
Face: "Legal considerations? These games are pretty violent, we'd rather not get involved in a massive lawsuit."
WOR: "Inside the race area, anything goes, no legal issues at all."
Face: "And outside?"
WOR: "Full law enforcement, but no actions occurring inside the race area can be brought against you unless they violate Galactic law regarding transfer of restricted materials."
Face: "This is a race. That generally means that there's a prize. What's the prize in this case."
WOR: "Prize? You get to live."
Face: "Not good enough. You're asking a team of our people to put their lives on the line for your organization's benefit. They deserve to be rewarded for their efforts, and simple survival is not enough."
WOR: "Mercenaries!"
Face: "Hey, you set the rules, not us. You decided that this was blood-sport, not us. We're just calling you on your unfair and improper practices. Every damned one of those teams is a bunch of mercenaries that deserve to be paid for their work.
Your tactics so far have been a close enough match to Organized Crime on Earth that we had to make special arrangements to keep you from being arrested the instant you set foot on Earth. Extortion, Bribery, Assassination, for you anything goes. Well, now you've run into someone who you cannot get a handle on. We don't have any presence outside Earth at this time. We don't have any contracts with other polities. We don't have any bilateral agreements with other polities. In short, there is nothing you can do that would force us to do anything you want. Even assassinating me will not get you what you want. You kill me, and there will never be a contract.
And yet, you came here to try and recruit us. That means you want us badly enough to meet our requirements. This is one of our requirements. All teams must be paid for their work. A minimum guarantee and a tiered set of prizes for the teams that complete the race."
WOR: Shocked at the bare-faced defiance, the rep is left speechless for some moments. "What sort of prizes did you have in mind?"
Face: "The usual, a share in the profits."
WOR: "WHAT!?! THAT'S RIDICULOUS!"
Face: "Fine, no team, you can go back to your boss and tell him that you blew a potential contract worth trillions of credits over a matter of a few billion."
WOR: The rep blanches, failure on a contract that size is a guarantee of death. The WO does not take failure on this scale lightly. "I can't guarantee that. I have to talk with my bosses."
Face: "Good enough for now, but before anything gets signed, you have to have answers for all of our requirements."
WOR: "There's more?"
Face: "Of course! We've talked with other polities, and they all agree that you have a voluminous set of rules. Rules that you have Non Disclosure Agreements on. We want a full copy of all the rules, no matter how big, with a full index and search capability, all easily interfaced with human systems."
WOR: "No! To get that you must commit to the race."
Face: "We do, huh? We'll just see about that."

Humans Challenge Wreckline Rules!

Excerpt of news article.
In an unprecedented move, the Humans, expected to become the new challengers for the Wreckline Cup have entered a suit against the organizers, insisting on full access to the rules before signing the contract!
"Expecting anyone to agree to a binding contract without full disclosure of all the rules is idiotic. The rules could easily have requirements that an emergent race cannot meet."
"This is an insult to Wreckline! We run a fair and honest race! We will not turn over the rules before the contract is signed!"

Galactic Court Rules In Favor of Humans!

Excerpt of news article.
The only comment from the WO was, "We brought lawyers, they brought Shyster."
The response from Humanity's official representative in this case was simply a big toothy smile. After some effort, we finally got someone to tell us what "shyster" means.
"A lawyer tells you what you cannot do; a shyster tells you how to get what you want."
From other sources, it appears that Earth lawyers ... and shysters ... have been studying galactic law since they first made contact. "If you're going to play the game, you have to know the rules."
Humans seem to regard many things as 'games'. This year's races should be fantastic. Betting is heavily against the humans, should they choose to join, but I think these people have more under their hats than the WO has under all their hats.

Race #1 : Rough Terrain Part One

excerpts from live broadcast
Boro: "Wecome, Race Fans! Humanity has joined the pack after extorting several..."
Shyster: off screen "I object to the term 'extorting'! We did everything within the law! Retract that statement or be sued for slander!"
Boro: "Ah... it seems that I have misspoken. Humanity has joined the pack after obtaining several very important concessions from the Wreckline Organization."
Shyster: off screen "Good enough!"
Gord: carefully choosing his words "As the lowest rank team, they get to pick their starting point last. We had expected a challenge to this, but they did not protest in the least."
Boro: "True! It seems the Humans either have no clue, or have something very special in mind for the other teams. We'll now go to the starting point selection."

Race Control

WOR: "As you can see, it is imperative that you follow this course in order to complete all obstacles. Teams will now choose starting positions in rank order, highest to lowest."
Boro: whispering "The veterans are all maneuvering for a head start on the starting line. Let's see what the humans do."
Hannibal: "We choose this location."
Gord: whispering "Holy! He's chosen a position at the finish circle! Can he do that?"
WOR: "You can't do that! You have to take the obstacles in order!"
Shyster: "No we don't. Here's the relevant portions of your own rules. There is nothing in them that says the obstacles must be taken in order."
WOR: "That can't be right!"
Boro: whispering "I've got a copy of the rules he's pulled, a quick skim shows that there is no requirement to take the obstacles in order."
Gord: whispering "And the humans got one rule added. No changes to the rules for the entire season. WOR isn't going to be able to do anything about this for this season."
Boro: whispering "Very clever these Humans."
WOR: "It seems that there is no such rule. The human's choice stands. Do any other teams wish to change their starting position?"
Shyster: "Rules specifically state that once chosen, the start point cannot be changed. See paragraph fifteen of the rules extract on obstacle order."
Boro/Gord: whispering "He's right."
Gord: "Beings of galactic society, the other teams are furious."
Boro: "Yes, all except the Alphanes. They don't seem concerned in the slightest."
Gord: "Indeed. I wonder why..."

Post Race Analysis

Boro: "Their debut race has certainly raised eyebrows. First was their selection of a starting point just outside the finish circle. They were challenged on this, and Shyster, the team legal expert proved that there was no requirement to start with everyone else.
They left one team member behind, known as Dead Shot, and proceeded to run the course in reverse order. By the time they met the contenders, they were in much better shape, quickly decimating the others, although they were surprisingly gentle with the Alphanes."
Gord: "These humans are a contradiction in everything they do. The other teams were dealt with using brutal efficiency, yet the Alphanes only had their vehicles incapacitated. There has to be something going on there, but there's been no violation of rules. The WO has been silent on this matter.
In any case, the excitement of the humans as they engaged in battle was both exhilarating and terrifying. If this is how they compete in a race, what must they be like in war?"
Boro: "True, and there have been military representatives from many polities speaking with Face on matters that no one will discuss. Back to the race."
Gord: "As they left the starting area, they dropped off the member known as Dead Shot. An expert with ranged weapons. Dead shot made a number of preparations, including entering the winning circle to plant an anchor for a rope. When this happened, the WO referees had a hasty conference with Shyster. They came away looking like they'd eaten boiled splurgs, while Shyster was smiling."
Boro: "Yes, his smile was ... rather like an apex predator trying to hid his teeth. What Dead Shot did next was even more unusual. He climbed the nearest plateau, dragging a rope with him that had been tied to the anchor. This rope was eventually stretched taut, from the top of the plateau."
Gord: "What happened next sparked a controversy that is still raging on the public networks. Dead Shot, using a "sniper rifle" of unique design, engaged any opposing team members who got past the Human team. From his perch, any such were terminated (5km) from the finish circle."
Boro: "Indeed. A protest was filed based on the rules that state that no directed energy weapons with AI support are permitted. Wreckline upheld the protest, until Shyster countered with a request for an "autopsy"."
Gord: "What is an "autopsy"?"
Boro: "I suggest that any viewers with sensitive stomachs leave the room, and strongly suggest that all children be sent from the room. This next section is seriously disturbing."
Next Section Rated XENO-RELIGIOUS-VIOLATION
Video: Respect the privacy of the deceased, right up until the first incision is made, then zoom in on the incision. With a split screen for the human Pathologist, and the Galactic Hospital team.
Boro: "Apparently, humans have so many ways of dying or killing that a specially trained expert must examine the body in detail to determine the actual cause. Frequently, this involves cutting the body open to see the effects. Yes, it's horrifying, but what can you say? Aliens!"
Video: A cold blooded description of the damage seen, with opinions on what could have produced it. In the end, shards of a metal bullet are found in the area of greatest damage. Several of the GH Doctors have to flee the room.
Gord: wiping his mouth carefully "As you can see, the procedure is quite brutal and a terrible violation of the deceased, not to mention trauma to the family. However, the GH doctors agree that the cause of death was not an energy weapon, but a projectile."
Remainder Of Broadcast is Rated SAFE
Boro: "That left the question of AI support..."
Video: Play selected clips of Dead Shot's demonstration.
Boro: "...Which was dealt with by Dead Shot himself, in a shocking and bewildering demonstration of competence with a wide variety of ranged weapons, some of which are actually muscle powered. He ended his demonstration with a replication of the (5km) shots."
Gord: "During this, Dead Shot was seen to make multiple visual observations of the target area, making manual adjustments to a 'spotting scope', as he did so. At each stage, he entered those numbers into what has been proven to be little more than a specialized calculator that determines the deflection and drop over a given range for the observed wind conditions."
Boro: "Yes, and the military are drooling over the idea. AI are faster and more accurate, but they're also a bit large to carry around on your person. Intense discussions with Face were seen, but the content was not reported in any media."
Gord: "As the demonstration continued, Dead Shot made manual adjustments to a sophisticated lens system known as an 'aiming scope'. Even so, the scope could not adjust to the degree required, so Dead Shot had to estimate the remaining offset to make the shot. No servos. No props for the gun, nothing but his own skill and the incredible accuracy of his rifle. The shot was perfect. As the humans said, "right through the center of the ten ring", this is a reference to the standard target used for practice. Or again, games involving firearms."
Boro: "The finish was spectacular in its own right. Once he received word that the last ... well, first ... obstacle had been passed, he harnessed himself to the rope previously strung, and slid down the rope to the middle of the winner's circle, placing his foot into the circle for the first Human win."
Gord: "We are reliably informed that this is a 'zip line', and that it is frequently a pleasurable activity for humans on their own world, as is something called 'bungie jumping', and 'base jumping'. We'll try to get you more information on all three."

Race #2: Rough Terrain Part Two

Gord: "Welcome to Part Two of Rough Terrain! In this part, each of the obstacles is located in a far more difficult position to reach. This provides greater opportunity for any one team to make trouble for any other, depending on who gets there first."
Boro: "Aaannndd, the humans are up to something again! Since they are no longer bottom ranked, the Alphanes had last choice. The humans chose to disperse their team across several of the positions, while most of the other teams decided to emulate the humans by starting at the finish. They each have a single member that they appear to be leaving behind. I wonder how long that's going to last."
Gord: "The Alphanes on the other hand, have chosen to start at the start. They are completely unopposed at this time, and cannot be observed by the other teams."
Boro: "Yes, and they've got some piece of equipment with them that they haven't shown to anyone, we'll be watching for them to deploy that. Still, the humans appear to have made a strategic error, they are individually too weak to stand against any of the other teams."
Gord: "True. We have a retired military officer here for commentary. Sir, would you please explain what's going on?"
Gen. Patton, Ret: "Look closely at the terrain, use the plot maps I gave you. Do you see these points? Our survey during the first run showed that these not only are choke points, but the surrounding area is unstable. There's a very good chance that with appropriate materials, you can bring the whole thing down on their heads."
Boro: "I don't know, I think the humans have still set themselves up for a pincers movement that's going to destroy them in detail. The other teams are so steamed over the last race that they're not going to leave anyone alive. They're all gunning for the humans."
GPR: "I think they're in for a very rude surprise."
...
Gord: "Well, it looks like the General was right, they're doing something at those cliffs, and they're being really careful about how they do it too."
Boro: "Maybe, but it's taking an awful lot of time."
Gord: "Each of the positions they treat, they've already passed the obstacle, so they don't have to worry about getting into the area to do the obstacle. This is really going to cost the other teams big when they come to the area."
Boro: "True, but enough to make up for the time the humans are spending? We'll see."
...
Boro: "Holy Star of Darkness! Tell me we got that! Tell me we got that!"
Off Screen: "We got it! Replay coming up!"
Video: A team seen rolling into the choke point, fully alert, but seeing no immediate opposition, continues rolling into the obstacle. Half way through the choke point, small detonations are seen at either end of the chasm. Then a time series of explosions racing from each end to the center, resulting in an entire cliff face falling loose and destroying the team. As the dust clears, it is obvious that all the vehicles have been destroyed, and survivors are highly unlikely.
Gord: seen bent over, retching.
Boro: "That was absolutely brutal. I do not think I have ever seen a team so totally destroyed in all my years as an announcer for these races. Humanity has certainly shown that they can be ruthless."
Gord: looking pale and shaky "That was horrible. This word just in: the managers for the Horvatian team have requested withdrawal, since no signs of life have been seen since the explosion. The referees are sending in their drones to survey the area for survivors."
Boro: "Riots are also being reported on Horvatian planets screaming for human blood."
Gord: "We have a pre-recorded announcement from Hannibal, the team lead for the humans! It was just released to us by Face, their manager."
Hannibal: "You people have been running a blood-sport game for centuries. Letting a criminal organization set the rules, rake in the profits, and rook new races into the game to raise ratings when they get destroyed by the established teams. That's going to stop. What you have just seen is one way that humanity fights a war. This is not a game. This is not a sport. This is war. You have forgotten what war is like. We're going to teach you all that lesson again. Then we'll teach you what sportsmanship and gamesmanship is all about. The difference will be brutally clear."
Boro & Gord: looking at the monitor in total shock
Gord: "Did he just say they were going to take on the WO?"
Boro: "It sure looks like he did. What did he mean about {sportsmanship} and {gamesmanship}?"
Gord: "I don't know. We'll have to see about getting translations for those words. It's obvious though that humans have a much more ... brutal ... definition of war."
...
Gord: "My Stars Of Gleaming Night! Did you see that Boro?"
Boro: under the desk, retching
Gord: "I guess he did."
Video: Replay of human vehicle being damaged, and the trailer it had been towing left behind as the vehicle could no longer tow it. The two teams that damaged the vehicle start fighting over the trailer, the survivors take possession, and try to open it. The detonation not only destroys their bodies, but their vehicles as well.
Gord: "The WO is claiming illegal explosives in use. The referees are consulting, and deny the claim. Spectroscopic analysis shows that they are common explosives in use on Earth. We do not yet have an explanation for the devastation. We're trying to get the General from Earth to come back and explain this to us. We'll ask about those two words as well."
GPR: "The technique is called a shaped-charge. I've brought along a demonstration video. When you want to cut a heavy construction beam in a split second, how do you do it?"
Boro: Looking even worse than Gord, as it was his planet's team that was destroyed. "We use a mirror plasma cutter. My father was in construction. It builds up a charge, fires, and the plasma bounces back and forth between the mirrors. The beam is cut in a fraction of a second."
GPR: "Observe this video. As you can see, the beam is a standard iron I-Beam, of the sort used on many worlds even today. We asked the Alphanes to demonstrate a plasma cutter such as you described, while we placed a shaped charge on the other beam. Both of those beams are identical. You can see that both beams have been prepared identically, although the plasma cutter doesn't need that preparation. We have allowed the plasma cutter time to reach full charge. Now, we're going to roll the next portion in slow motion, with a timer showing in the bottom of each view. The timer will start when the trigger signal is received by the device, and stop the moment that motion is seen in the beam being cut."
Video: Slow motion shows both timers starting at the same time, the plasma cutter is brilliant white, while the shaped charge is a puff of explosives. The timer for the shaped charge stops. The plasma cutter takes twice as long.
GPR: "Now, if you will, imagine a circular shaped charge, rigged to fit within that trailer, Line the outside of the charge with steel balls the diameter of my thumb. Imagine what happens when the entire force of the explosion is concentrated on the plane defined by the circle. The balls sheeting outward like horizontal rain. You see?"
Boro: "I see entirely too well, excuse me." running off stage
Gord: "But your shaped charge bent the metal, while the plasma cutter left smooth edges."
GPR: smiling "Gord, when do you use a plasma cutter?"
Gord: confused "During demolition of a structure."
GPR: "And what do you do with the materials that you obtain from that structure?"
Gord: "We recycle them into new products."
GPR: "Does it matter then what shape the materials are in?"
Gord: doing a very good imitation of "Doh!" "No, I guess it doesn't."
GPR: "One final thought... Why were they trying so desperately to recover the trailer?"
Boro: walking slowly back on stage "They thought to find some specific weapons of Humanity."
Gord: "How do you know that?"
Boro: "I caught one of our military people talking on a comm as I came out of the facility. He was bragging that they'd captured the trailer."
Gord: "Boro, your hands, what happened?"
Boro: "I beat the silly bastard to a pulp. He and his kind sent our people into that inferno, I will not tolerate abuse of the race for military gain, or for that matter any purpose other than the race itself."
GPR: "The first lesson of gamesmanship. Play the game for itself, not for unrelated purposes."
Gord: "We had meant to ask for definitions and/or explanations of the words sportsmanship and gamesmanship, can you enlighten us further."
... cogent and lively discussion of the meaning of those words ...
Gord: "This is silliness! Children follow these rules! Not adults!"
Boro: "Gord... If adults had followed these rules, where would my people be now?"
Gord: ... "I'm sorry, Boro."
Director: Off Screen "Back to the race, the referees have granted the withdrawal of both of those teams, time to get moving again."
GPR: "I will leave you gentlemen, and your audience, to ponder what we have just discussed. Keep it in mind at the end of the race."
Gord: shaking his head in bemusement "Are they really serious?"
Boro: "I wish we had been." Shaking himself, "Now! Back to the race!"

Summary

Throughout the rest of the race, for the most part, the non-human teams come to grief in one way or another. One team that had seen what happened at another choke point attempted to disarm the demolition charges. Not realizing that an anti-tamper device had been set, they brought the whole side of the mountain down on themselves.
Time and again, alien teams attempted to take action against the humans, and came off worse than just second best. It was not entirely in the humans favor.
Roll Video
Video: One vehicle, hit by another team's fire, is evacuated just before it explodes. The blast knocks the survivors to the ground.
A rescue is attempted. Covering fire allows the rescuer to reach the survivors, bringing them half way back, before both survivors were killed by enemy fire, and the would be rescuer wounded.
He is dragged back into the remaining vehicles.
Human #1: Screaming, repeatedly "Don't leave them behind!"
Video: He is restrained by his fellow team members, and told repeatedly that they are already dead. Finally accepting this, the rescuer breaks down in tears.
Human #1: "They were my brothers!"
Medic #1: "We know, they will be honored."
Video: The medical team puts him under so that they can deal with his wounds. Tears running from their eyes.

Commentary

Boro: "They really care about their team members, don't they."
Gord: "Yes, they do. Perhaps we can learn something from them after all."

Summary

In the remainder of the race, there are only two teams still competing. The rest have either been sufficiently disabled to have no realistic chance, or have been withdrawn whether totally destroyed or just too badly damaged to have any chance at all.
At the winners circle, the members left behind are listening to the loss of their teams. One after another. When there is no one left who has a team in position to have any real chance of finishing the obstacles, they go berserk. There are no survivors.
Sometime during the race, off camera, the secret device the Alphanes brought with them has disappeared. No one knows what it was, or where it went.

Final Push For the Winner's Circle

Boro: "It's down to just the Humans and the Alphanes now. They're approaching from opposite sides of the winners circle. This ought to be a final battle as brutal or more so than anything we've seen before."
Gord: "No, I don't think so Boro. I think this is going to go way different. Did you notice that the Alphanes never went directly for the Humans, and despite coming across one or more of those trailers, they never touched any of them; leaving other teams to fight over them."
Boro: "Yes, as though they knew something."
Gord: "Well, you do remember that the Alphanes were the youngest team in the race, before the Humans came."
Boro: "You don't think..."
Gord: "I'm not saying what I think. Other than I think that the galaxy is going to have a real shock when they meet at the winners circle."
...
Boro: "They've sighted each other! Here it comes! ... What? They're not shooting?"
Gord: "Remember what the General said. They're playing the game now, gamesmanship. Each team is advancing as fast as they can, but without attempting to damage the other team. Purely a race now. No combat at all."
Boro: "I have no idea what the fans are going to think. Can we get a read on the viewer's reactions to this?"
Director: Off Screen "The viewership is going through the roof! Whatever they're thinking, they're certainly watching. The betting has gone so wild that the bookies have closed the books. No one has the slightest idea what's going to happen when they meet."
Gord: "I think I know. Let me make a prediction now. There will be no fighting, no matter who gets to the circle first. After the win, there will again be no fighting. I have a third prediction, but it depends on the reaction of the Alphanes. The humans will attempt to congratulate the Alphanes. Whether that succeeds or not, I do not know."
Boro: "Congratulate them? Oh... Sportsmanship."
Gord: "Precisely. Let's watch the finish."
submitted by spindizzy_wizard to SpinningStories [link] [comments]

Pittsburgh's new sportsbook: where's the extra $0.06 coming from?

TL;DR:
Newly opened sportsbook in Pittsburgh, PA presents American Odds on the board, but use decimal odds behind the scenes to calculate payouts.
They say all rounding of display numbers will be in the "player's advantage".
Is this a common thing at casino based sportsbooks? I've mainly bet online.
Details:
So, yesterday was the first day of legalized bet taking at the Rivers Casino in Pittsburgh.
I'm far from a professional, but I would say I'm decently versed in the terminology, math, and process of sports betting.
Other than an actual bet on the TNF game, I was mainly there placing two small bets to have as 'souvenir tickets' to say I placed a bet on day one: Steelers and Penguins.
So, I look at the board for the Steelers spread:
Pittsburgh Steelers | +3.0 (-117) |
Ok. Steelers are a 3 point underdog, and you have to bet $117 to profit $100.
I want to bet to win $10.00 on my souvenir ticket.
So I bet $11.70, right?
I place my bet. On my ticket:
Wager: $11.70
Potential Payout: $21.76.
Point Spread
PIT Steelers 3 -117
WHERE'S THE EXTRA $0.06 coming from?
So, there's all kinds of staff around the sports book area to answer questions that new betters may have.
I ask the one guy about it, and it's all about how the system actually works, and how they present it to the end user.
So, the sports book software uses decimal odds behind the scenes, and they just display rounded-off American Odds on the boards because that's what the US market is used to.
So, really my bet was: 1.8598 odds in decimal notation, which is around -116.30 in American Odds notation
So, I got my bet for 000.7 cheaper juice than expected, because (according to the staff member I talked to) any rounding will "always" be in the advantage of the player, never the house.
submitted by ThePittsburghPolack to sportsbook [link] [comments]

[Lets Build] Pirates! [Repost]

Welcome to the 54th [Lets Build]!
TOPIC: Pirates
Die Roll Result
1 Captain Bronzebeard II - Following his father's legacy, this dwarf has been scouring the seas looking for the medallion that was stolen from his family. He is getting close to pinpointing it's location, and may hire the players as mercenaries on his quest.
2 Cap'n Flint "the Squint" McGint - A surly fellow who's been plying his trade since afore ye was born, now shut yer gob and come aboard fer adventure and loot! (Also, due to his condition, Squint can't see worth beans and is essentially incompetent in all things piratey aside from the talk. But his crew is outstanding.)
3 Herman the Scar - A very young, good-hearted bard; he won the captaincy of his ship, now named the Encore, in a dance competition. Much more 'adventurer ship' then Pirate ship.
4 Gozze'ch - A lizardfolk with a huge chunk bitten out of his tail. Refers to himself as 'the old Lizard' and likes to act foolish, but is actually quite cunning. Bit the hand off Simon McGurk in a fight over docking rights.
5 He Sails - A tabaxi pirate captain who hunts for treasure but really doesn't like water.
6 Simon McGurk - A sallow-looking man with a collection of prosthetic hands. McGurk is greedy and clever, but extremely lazy and always coming up with intricate plans and labor-saving devices. A children's song about him includes the refrain, "Simon McGurk, scared stiff of work!"
7 Thorkhomtam, The Everraiding- a mummy king who when awoken took to the seas to build an eternal empire on the waves. His ships are fashioned after Egyptian river boats and are manned by skeletons with mummy captains. He pelts ships with flaming arrows before raming and boarding and refuses to use cannons.
8 Gold-Thumbed Lizzie - A pursor and quartermaster, so named because "she holds on to coins so tight they become part've her thumb!"
9 Jem the Angel-eyed - A half-elf with a beautiful, serene face and a strange penchant for murder. Jem is quiet and eerily calm, even in the middle of a battle. He once slipped into a city port and killed seventeen guards and a customs official, put all the bodies in one room, then left a pile of gold equal to the bounty on his head on top of them.
10 First mate Crumblefist - A grey dwarf pirate whose crew was lost following a river out of the underdark and now seeks a crew to take him back through the dangerous waters to return home.
11 Captain Durango Black - Tiefling captain of the Daring Demon. This terrifying swashbuckler is also famous among cutthroats and low lives for being a talented Bard, often telling stories of the devil captain so scary, he can harm men with insults.
12 Captain Syrian Blackhand, human captain of The Ocelot - Made a pact with the god of the seas. His ship is the fastest in the world, but every year he must return to the temple where the accord was struck and cut off one finger. His left hand has only the thumb left.
13 Pennington Pugwash - a human fighter with wrinkled, scrunched up face. Doesn't have real athority on the ship but will still bark orders at people when they're slacking off. Spends his time eating hardtack biscuits and cleaning muck out from between his skin folds.
14 Leon - once a very young boy traveling with his parents on the cheap via cargo ship. When the ship was attacked by pirates and his parents were killed he was taken in by the pirates as they couldn't bear to kill him. Now a young man, he has a complicated relationship with piracy and the captain he serves under. It's the only life he's known since he was young, and the crew treats him like family, but he can't help but feel a bit resentful, and wants something more from life.
15 Annie the Red - a young halfling woman with bright red flowing hair. She is as beautiful as she is ruthless. She may not be the strongest of the crew she is part of, but she is the lightest on her feet (And the lightest with her fingers). A girl who will charm you for an evening, steal your coinpurse, and still leave you wanting more.
16 Half-Blood Harry - Huge and hulking, with impressive tattoos and scars, Harry is someone who makes himself known the instant he enters a room. Largely silent, one could mistake him for a stupid man- in truth he is shrewdly clever and prefers to listen. No one is really sure what his other "half" is... goliath? Cyclops? Giant? Who knows? He is not telling.
17 Laurabelle Lee - a woman of refinement as well as class. She runs the tightest and most efficient ship possible. Every uniform is starched, every button is shiny, even the brig is clean. Laurabelle herself is a stately figure in beautiful high-low dresses with tall leather boots and tight curls on her head. She is charming, but demands respect- and her crew love her as much as they fear her.
18 Quartermaster Berrick - a gnome who is as ruthless as he is small, rarely leaves his office aboard his ship and has mounted a large crossbow pointing at his door in case of disappointing news. While he avoids going into battle himself, his bravery and cunning is unparalleled when he's once again in the thick of it.
19 Dragnet - a ruthless goblin captain who's rise to infamy came with his acquisition of a cursed fishing net. His crew is an assortment of loyal goblins and men and women who have been captured and enthralled by the net. He is clever and quick to start a fight, though quicker to use his expendable crew to save his own life. The colors of his ship depict a crescent moon with a net strung over the bottom tip.
20 Captain Barnical Horn - a tiefling captain who was keelhauled for so long that barnicals grew from his horns now he runs in search of all of his past crew.
21 Rubidoo - the outgoing triton jester of a large pirate crew. Since the crew hates bad puns and witty jokes, they tend to often throw her overboard to get their laughs. Because of this, she has a clockwork arm, replaced after a shark bite. Rubidoo tends to put all sorts of prank hands on her cybernetic limb, including one that lets go of its index finger when you pull it. Despite the torture from the pirates, she tends to be all fun and laughs, believing her sole job in life is to be comedic.
22 Captain Sjondeil Darhringur - A stoic faced captain who's been on a boat since he was born. His heritage is unclear. He captains "The Watcher" a bleak storm gray galleon with grey sails. He is almost always found staring out to the horizon waiting for something that only he understands.
23 Gulliper "Gully" Blackwater - A festive halfing raider of the coastal swamps and the last son of the cursed Blackwater family. He is an amicable enough sort, willing to spare those who surrender, though he has a habit of killing any he suspects of holding magical artifacts.
24 Honorable Captain McQuane: A former naval officer who was captured. Instead of being ransomed or killed, he led a mutiny and rose through the ranks to captain. He found piracy to his liking, but runs the tightest ship on the seas. Legend has it his crew get only an hour of shore leave a year. He’s more than willing to accept surrender or do mercenary work, and is remarkably civil and polite. He insists on being referred to by his full title.
25 Decker - a young teen in loose fitting clothes that swabs the deck. Eager to learn the trade of being a pirate, he’s often given the work that the other seamen see as below them. He escaped a life on the street in big town and seems appreciate having a place to sleep and food to eat.
26 Loud Tom - A boatswain with a voice like a bull and a vocabulary that is truly impressive in its creativity and range, Loud Tom hurls profanity and insults at his crew and everyone else nearly constantly. The one exception is when he is truly angry- while his verbal abuse is mostly good-natured and verbose, his wrath is nearly silent, accompanied by a facial expression that can freeze grog. "Loud Tom is quiet" is a whispered warning that goes through the ship like fire and leaves everyone desperate to stay out of his way.
27 Broadwick the Penitent - an Aasimar Swords bard with the gleam of hatred in her eyes. She killed her angelic patron in a fit of passion and sails the seas in search of a place the guilt cannot reach. Carries a Wand of Smiles that she uses on her victims just before she takes their lives.
28 Gelionexxitrus - A beholder that lives below deck on a fleshy, living, aberration boat. Chuul patrol the deck, twitching warped humanoids work the sails. It's hard to tell whether Gelionexxitrus and the boat are the same being.
29 The Silence - A thousand year old mummy lord who travels in a bubble of silence hundreds of feet wide. Wrapped around her neck is a pendant that allows her to speak and cast spells.
30 The Beekeeper - A friendly half elf druid. His ship is loaded down with apiaries. He steals to support his bees. If asked any questions about his motivations he replies "Bees are dying at an alarming rate."
31 Arianis - A mad fey satyr looking for the best partiers on the material plane. Invitations to their week long hedonistic boat parties are more akin to kidnappings. If you fail to impress, you become the centerpiece/victim of the last night of the party.
32 Revar the Fallen - An arrogant fallen Aasimar, who is easily enraged. He hates the Gods and every Culture, that still devote themselves to them in some form or fashion. He likes to especially raid temples and holy Cities.
33 The Dread Pirate Jazeera; Captain - A dusty skinned, half-elven woman of breathtaking beauty, with black hair and supple frame. She can convince most anyone of most anything, using either intimidation or allure. She captains The Indomitable, a large ship constructed of ebonized woods. Started her seafaring life in search of the pirates who press-ganged her father into servitude, and chose piracy as a (somewhat ironic,) means to an end. Several years on, and with no leads in sight, she has all but abandoned hope of finding her father alive, and has instead turned her focus to attaining power, often through morally grey means, and plans to take revenge for her loss.
34 Garrett; First Mate - A halfling with sandy brown locks of shoulder length hair, and an emerald for his left eye. Originally a stowaway, Jazeera saw his quick wit and cunning to be a useful trait, as he seemed able to talk himself out of nearly any corner, a fine ally to have. After sailing with her for several years, they went their separate ways, as Garrett, trained as a rogue, longed for the stage, rather than the shadows. After several years training as a bard, fate brought the two back together, and Garrett, who had lost his eye during his adventures without Jazeera, was re-instated as first mate.
35 John; Quartermaster - A towering human male, with a few arcane tricks up his sleeve, John and Jazeera have a seething distaste for each other on the surface, but there is a mutual respect for the two in battle. John tends to err on the law and good when moral questions come up, which can often run counter to Jazeera's plans. While the two often get into it, Jazeera recognizes power and quality when she sees it, and knows that her ship is better with John as her tactician and enforcer.
36 Varic; Lead Gunner - A half-elven sorcerer with an affinity for lightning, Varic knows all about how to calculate the trajectory necessary to decimate his foes. As such, he was an obvious choice to lead the gunning crews. When casting spells, his veins surge with arcane energy, visible beneath the surface of his skin.
37 Puddles; Powder Monkey - A dwarven barbarian with a fire red beard, who follows orders and has no fear, it's natural that he'd take on one of the most dangerous job on the ship. Powder Monkeys are responsible for carrying the gunpowder for the gunning crews, and as they often had explosives in their arms, were often in a very dangerous position, should something be mishandled or dropped.
38 Ragnar; Cook - An older man who questions his purpose and existence in life, but has a taste for food. With a long white beard and a barrel-chest, Ragnar can often be found snacking on his favorite food: chicken. Despite his aged appearance and apparent senility, Ragnar is a capable fighter when the chips are down; doubly so if his chicken is threatened.
39 Captain Longhorn - A Minotaur pirate captain with a peg leg, long horns, and a grand, flowing beard. He carries the ship’s wheel on his back and uses it as a shield. If he’s not at the helm, the ship doesn’t move.
40 Smeagle - A conniving, craven bo’sun of a disreputable ship, this stunted aarakocra’s wings were clipped when he was exiled from the sky.
41 Elondrith the Puppeteer - a shady looking mass of dark rags, sporting a mask of ancient porcelain. The crew is said to be immortal, even after being hit by countless arrows and heavily woumded, they run fearlessly into their enemies arms flailing their weapons. Strangely though, they always try to aim for the arms and legs to only incapacitate their foe. Noone has ever heard elondrith utter a single command, only gestures. This is the reason they call him the puppeteer.
42 Broggy the vile, a half giant that assembled a crew of demihumans. Minotaurs, half orcs, goblins, you name it. Hes said to be ruthless and cruel to his foes, but fatherlike to his crew. His main weapon is a huge spiked iron ball on a chain. He is said to have sunken a pitatehunters ship by throwing his weapon once, destroying the mast and ripping a hole into the deck of the ship.
43 Joe, no other names, just Joe - He had joined the ship as a boy, seeking fortune and fame. Over the years he toiled on deck, in the rigging, on the guns. He knows every single board and nail on this ship from bow to stern. Joe had seen his share of action, losing two fingers on his left hand in a sword fight when he was 20, his right ear in a deck fire at 25, all the toes on his right foot while sailing around the cape at 30, yet he carried on. Through his time on board, Joe developed a rigourous discipline. His white hair is kept short, cut with his own knife, and he is clean shaven despite the deep wrinkles on his aging leathery face. "No sense being pretty when you're dead!" he would say. When drunk, Joe tells stories of his time at sea, all 50 years of it. Each story has a tattoo to go with it, his skin a veritable tapestry of his life etched from his knuckles to his neck and down to his ankles. As for rank, Joe never cared for it, command was not his thing. Still, he often takes youngsters under his wing, teaching them the ropes, keeping them out of trouble. Even the captain looks up to Joe, often taking his guidance on the more complicated nautical and tactical matters. Joes advanced years did nothing to diminish his fighting ability. His ability with a cutlass is second to none and twinned with his knowledge of ships he can turn an advantage in any fight at sea. And pray you never meet the loud end of his flintlock. Nobody has ever seen him miss and lived to tell the tale.
44 Captain Mangan - an old long-bearded man with a lot of scars. He doesn't own a ship but claims to be a former leader of a smuggler guild. He has hidden his treasures in a secret place. He is a bit crazy and forgetful. A lot of statements where to find his treasures contradict themself. He is very proud and brags about it all the time.
45 Jebadiah - A cabin boy who thinks himself much more important and sometimes threatening than he really is. He hates whenever someone brings up his lowly position, and thinks that he deserves more. Jebadiah tries to avoid danger whenever possible, but when his reputation is on the line will rashly leap into it.
46 Left Shoe - A quiet, gnarled dwarf who slurs his words and drools slightly when he talks. He is clearly sick with something, and has lost much of his feeling. This has led to his killing people "to feel their lives."
47 Jim The Barber- A Captain, originally called James the Barbarous. Got tired of correcting people who misheard it and took up a pair of clippers out of curiosity. Now runs a very profitable side-business haircutting and beard trimming; it is fulfilling enough that Jim is considering giving up piracy altogether.
48 Molly the Red and Captain Crookshanks - Molly was born on a pirate ship and has developed a fierce reputation as a daring and fearless captain. Byron Crookshanks, the second son of a minor Duke, joined the Eirinie Royal Navy and quickly rose to prominence as a fair and punctiliously honorable naval officer. Their rivalry was marked by close escapes, heated battles, and chases over half the known world. When Eirin was overwhelmed and swallowed by the Chriam Empire, Crookshanks and his crew refused to bend the knee, and found themselves a ship without a country. The two rivals became partners during a firefight with the Criamen Navy and were wed almost immediately thereafter. Now the parents of a half-dozen children, the two run a small fleet of privateers as the Eirinie Navy-in-Exile.
49 The Lost Fisherman- possibly just a legend that pirates tell to scare each other, The Lost Fisherman is an old Dwarf in a fishing skiff, floating out in the middle of the ocean. They say he can see your soul. There was a ship, Sharkey's Devil, that ran across him once- three hundred blackhearted pirate veterans. Another ship found the Devil a week later, floating aimlessly. The captain and crew were dangling from the yardarms, gaffed and strung together; like a grotesque fish market, they said. The only survivors were two prisoners and the grommit, who was crazy with fear, and never left land again when they got him back- a cobbler, he is now, and a pious man. But he's just a story, a way to get scare pirates away, right? Right? I mean, there are other ships that have supposedly had similar fates, but it is probably a story. Yeah, that's it. A story.
50 Captain Scrack - The goblin captain of Scrack's Scuttler (see the ship section). He has "VERMIN" burned into his cheek like a brand. Scrack is a Chaotic Good captain who is well liked by his crew. He doesn't discuss his past, but seems to take some joy in defeating haughty nobles.
51 Vileem Crabshanks - A goblin pirate who would gladly avoid any search for treasure, yet adventure seems to find her. Has honest aspiration to become a merchant, but faces prejudice and misfortune.
52 Koros the Black - A (Krynn) minotaur, who aims to ravage a town and personally loot the local Duke's Manor. In truth, he's only after a treasure lost by his grandfather to the Duke's ancestors, but the Code of Honor demands blood must spill as well.
53 Sharonogue the Trident—Few know his name, but Sharonogue is the clever and ruthless Sahuagin captain of a submersible with a fully amphibian crew. The submersible has a wreck of another pirate ship strapped to its hull. Sharongue scouts out his target with a pod of sharks, then when the moment is right, his spellcasters summon a thick fog. Out of the fog, the submersible rises, looking to the opposing vessel as if a ghost ship encrusted with mollusks and water-logged has apparated before them. The above-water portion can soak up the cannon fire from their desperate quarry but the submersible inexorably approaches until Sharonoques merciless crew can board.
54 Gatsi Shrinemason - A Dwarven Cleric of Zeboim, who builds faith and worship among all sea-goers. You can find him at work in towns or the wilds, building shrines, alters, obelisks, spreading word; or maybe just bullying his way onto a ship to go where he's called.
55 Crablegs - a human deckhand that always walks sideways.
56 Amir-Sual - Once a wealthy sea merchant of the oceans of Osad, he turned to piracy after it was discovered he had used privateers to sink his competition. He has managed to bind 2 jinn to his ship so as to conquer the opal sea: A wind jinn for his sails, and a fire jinn for makeshift cannon
57 Rimmarie, first mate - Once a prostitute of some nowhere costal town, her life was saved by Amir when he was still just a crooked merchant, she stands by her now husband's side on the opal sea. She is said to have made a deal with a dark jinn who wanted who helped bind two others to the ship.
58 First Mate Shaw - a classic sword n' board fighter with a few spell scrolls at his disposal. Shaw has a few dialogue quirks, if anyone bothers to talk to him. "I'm Shaw of it" "How can you be sure? I'm Shaw!"
59 Dashu - A long term priate deckhand. An impressive climber and prefers small sharp daggers. Very competent and finds places on crews easily. Secretly he is a wererat who is first to leave his crewmates to their fates the moment things go wrong. Even if it means living as a rat in the bilges of a military vessel until next port.
60 Deathskull the Man Killer - This pirates real name is Phill, he's a kind man who has bad luck all around him. If he helps out other ships they end up sinking and burning down, nothing good happens around him. He is known as a man killer even though he tries to be very kind.
61 Captain Merriatt, Elven pirate of the Azure Sea - He hunts at night, catching ships completely off guard on moonless nights. His brutal reputation is totally manufactured, he hates bloodshed. His ship, The Death Night, a dark-hulled and black sailed schooner has an enchanted brig that creates a Duplicate of its prisoners on deck. Once a ship has been taken, Merriatt takes the captain below, then returns to "execute" the Duplicate in front of the captured crew. After ransacking his victim's ship, he lets the crew go on their way. The capture captains are let off at the next safe port, warned never to to reveal the truth, or risk the lives of every other captain on the Azure Sea.
62 Rat-Faced Bill - Bill had a vision problem ever since a bully splashed boiling water in his face when he was 9. He squints to see and he looks like a rat when he squints. Unfortunately Bill had to squint a lot. He was bullied for so long that when he turned 16 he kidnapped every single one of the 13 people that bullied him and put them in a small dinghy with no sails and no oars and pushed them out to sea. Bill then decided to become a pirate as a way to support himself and to see if he could find the dinghy. Bill rules with an iron fist but he is always fair and so his crew has much respect for him. His favorite punishment is forcing prisoners to build a dinghy out of their former ship and pushing them out to sea.
63 Arfinkle - Arfinkle is a crafty wizard with a wicked sense of humor and even more wicked spells. His entire crew is odd bronze contraptions, fueled equally by steam and twisted magic. His favorite one is a teapot with legs and a sleep dart shooter.
64 Last Mate - Last Mate is a sailor by trade and probably among the worst to ever attempt it. By the time he calls out "Land Ho" from the Crow's Nest, he's already forgotten in which direction it is by the time he's scrambled down to the deck. Last Mate also happens to never really quite recall any nautical terms whatsoever and has to be constantly reminded what port and starboard mean. However, Last Mate's relentless enthusiasm and deep respect for the Captain helps make him a tolerable, if not slightly detrimental, member of the crew.
65 Obum the Breaker - Former naval captain. Charismatic and popular, but mostly inept. Relies heavily on his First Mate Ideen (a warlock serving the Devil Osouro) and his boatswain Hwonk the Vile.
66 Mourning Dove - A tall and graceful captain whose husband, a sailor, was seduced by a woman on his ship and disappeared. Mourning Dove wears a white eye mask and kills all adult females on the boats she takes. Her crew is all male.
67 Powdermonkey Conrad - a small halfling boy. He is an agile climber who was found on a piece of floating boat wreckage as a child. He is full of optimism and often pulls tricks on his crewmates, but is fiercely loyal.
68 The Flamedancer - a goliath captain with the ability to create fire. He commonly attempts to throw fire at the sail of an enemy ship to immobilise it before getting close enough to burn the rest of the ship to surrender. Works with first mate Johnson, a sorcerer with the "Create or Destroy Water" spell who control flames that spread too fast or put out a captured ship. He brutally burns any dissenters and enemy captains who fight in front of his crew, as a show of force, while Johnson stands by.
69 Rosie the Rivener - A well built and fiercely independent woman who pioneered a form of maritime execution in which the victim is lashed between two ships that then sail apart, ripping the victim in half.
70 The Dead Pirate Roberts - A skeleton that resides in the captain's quarters of a pirate ship called the Death Jester. He's not animated or anything, he's really just a skeleton. The First Mate is a spellcaster who can speak with the dead, and frequently consults Roberts for advice.
71 Dastardly Dave Deadbeard. Elderly human retired pirate. Usually found in the corner of a tavern drinking rum and telling stories of his plundering days. Mildly partial to a glass of bison milk. Has no beard.
72 Toruvah Hullfinder- This man's body ripples with muscle, and his hands are like oyster-hammers. He fights bare-handed, leaping into the water and tearing holes in enemy vessels. He has an odd penchant for collecting bits of driftwood.
73 Bertha Redbraid, the dwarven sea lass. Captain of the Dread Drakkar, a longship of dwarven construction. She loves looting and sinking vessels of Elvish make.
74 Captain Koskinen - 6'7" tall, 320lb tiefling with dark purple skin and a great many scars. He is barrel chested and imposing, with a deep and raspy voice, but he is actually a very warm and friendly host to guests aboard his ship, which sails the great desert at the head of a fleet of lost ships driven by a great sandstorm.
75 Shivering Sally- Just what this pirate is is unclear, since she is always heavily bundled up and complaining of the cold. She clearly has some magical connection to ice, which makes her a dangerous opponent, but mostly she is notable for the betting pool on what race she is, and who will get a look to find out.
76 Reversal of Fortune: A Goliath with a prominent burn scar along the right side of his face. Reversal of Fortune is a powerful swordsman and cunning captain. He is also subject to a powerful curse; every two years, he is destined to lose everything he owns. He is unaware of the curse, attributing his sudden biannual losses to bad luck or twists of fate.
77 Captain Bismuth Von Hart a green tiefling swashbuckler in search of a way to remove the curse he has obtained. Formerly a Halfing, Captain Hart sacrficed his own appear, gaining tainted blood in exchange for a magically item/secret from a haunted island far to the east.
78 Marquis de Lafayette - a human sailor on his way to deliver news about the war effort of [insert country here]. On the weekends he does acapella with his crew. He loves whiskey, revolution, and women.
79 Brinetusk- Orc captain of the Crackin'. Large and imposing, with a number of tattered jackets and hats taken from other captains he has defeated. His ship reflects her captain, with a number of masts and armor taken from Brinetusk's victims grafted on to the hull. He attacks other ships on sight, crashing into them with the weight of the Crackin' behind him, with his shamans upon their war drums, summoning storms of vengeance and destruction. Expect a great deal of plunder if Brinetusk is defeated, though some of it may be more trophies and skulls rather than gold or gems.
80 General Taylor - once a high ranking officer of an empire (current or destroyed) he and his crew were sunk in an ambush (either pirates or an enemy kingdom) and woke up as an undead crew at the bottom of the sea. He continues to sail in his rotting galleon behind enemy lines, attacking anyone that looks like those who killed him.
81 Archerd the Twice Drowned: A former pirate captain whose ship was destroyed by a great sea monster. Now he is back as a revenant and he and his crew will stop at nothing to kill the great beast.
82 Ghingumuff Goldtaker: A clever and merciless goblin captain who boldly leads his crew to wealth and glory.
83 Tavis Startoe: A human who lost an arm to a shark. With his remaining arm he wields the rapier like no other. He often mocks his foes as he duels for their inability to defeat a cripple.
84 Topiary Fritz is a halfling man covered in new tattoos and wearing a captain's robe several sizes too big for him. He was once the servant of a large military ship, but once the ship changed hands he just continued to work. He is incredibly kind, hardworking, and an incredibly competent chef and servant.
85 James Rothschester (Great Old One warlock) is a human pirate captain with short, shaggy black hair, and sunken spectral green eyes. He is less interested in treasure than he is information. He and his crew go to ancient ruins and underwater caverns in search of information about his patron. He only takes enough treasure to keep his crew happy and willingly gives up much of his share in return for their compliance.
86 Elara "Forester" is a druid torn between her love of the land and the sea. Her boat was grown of an ancient Riverside yew that wished to travel as much as she did. She hates the other ships that roam the ocean, those perverted abhorrations glued together from hundreds of innocent trees. Her ship, the "eldest pride" is crewed exclusively by tree ents.
87 Barnaby, The Barnacle: Widely believed to be the crustiest, oldest sea dog still in the business, Barnaby is an incredibly old human pirate that has made a name for himself by being the most experienced and well-traveled pirate still alive. He has been a crew member of a whole fleet of ships, having held the positions of cabin boy and captain at different points in his life, as well as everything in between. He is a knowledgeable sailor, having spent more of his life on a ship than off one, and is one of the most competent crew members a captain can hope for, with any counsel he provides consistently proving the worth his wealth of experience in piracy. However, it is worth remembering that a pirate doesn't grow old unless they're the cream of the crop, and The Barnacle has spent his whole life as one. He has a cunning mind that has only sharpened with age, and a vicious streak as long as a ship when the time calls for it. Many a raid has been planned with his help only for the captain in charge to disappear amidst the fighting, leaving Barnaby as the man to look to, and he has earned plenty of loot from his long years of work. The moniker "The Barnacle" was not earned because of his fondness for them or their presence on his body, but because much like a barnacle, Barnaby is impossible to be rid of and will likely remain long after his foes are at the bottom of the sea. All this history has earned Barnaby a degree of infamy among the underground community, and any captain who brings him aboard treats him with the proper respect, deference, and fear to which someone in his position is entitled.
88 Breaker of Ships: A Warforged gunner, BoS was created to serve as a living weapon for the (random country) navy. BoS slowly grew to hate this life, and when their ship was sunk in a squall, they walked along the bottom of the ocean, until they reached the infamous pirates haven, Shattersail Bay and enlisted with a crew. Now, when they are not blowing up (random country's) ships, they are studying the occult, using their share of the booty to acquire dread occult artifacts.
89 Lady Aliana Ismal: When the Hallowed Empire collapsed in the fires of revolution, the loyalist sailors and marines of the 2nd Hallowed Fleet found themselves without a cause or a leader. The former was fixed when Lady Aliana Ismal, a human warlock, arrived and seized control of the fleet with the aid of eldritch monsters, and her connection to the former royal family. Now the Unhallowed Fleet ravages the newly independent states out of a desire for loot and revenge. Rumor has it that Lady Ismal seeks to use the loot to acquire an army fit to restore the Empire to its former glory.
90 High Priest Kandi: Kandi ( a dwarven priest) and his band of followers are disciples of the Ocean God, Leviathan. Kandi's home island was once invaded by a ship full of greedy adventures, who were only repelled at great cost. In order to prevent future attacks, KAndi and a group of his acolytes were "blessed" by Leviathan with the ability to turn into weresharks and sworn to protect the people of their island from future interlopers. Kandi's crew maintains a small gallon in order to fool incoming ships, but this is a distraction to allow the weresharks to get close to the enemy boat and board. Most of the time Kandi is content to scare ships off, but sometimes he is forced to destroy ships with all hands aboard, in order to protect his home.
91 Squabbles: a seemlingly timeless elf-ish man, though it's hard to tell he's an elf. His hunched back, yellowed fingernails and eyes, and wrinkled leathery skin almost looks monstrous from a distance. Speaks in a slurred Primordial that, even when understood, is not properly understood. He's never been asked on the ship, and he always complains about "poor spoils," without ever asking for them. At port, he gets off the ship with the rest of the crew, and wanders back onto another ship, with no regard for loyalty of crew. Mediocre at washing, but entertaining, unique, and most importantly: free labor. However, captains are cautious of him, and some seem to listen exceptionally intently to his ramblings, sometimes even going so far as to invite him to sleep his ship duration in the captain's quarters. Occasionally after a long night of slurred ramblings, captain's may abruptly change their course, asking advice from the old crouch. Rarely do they find anything... that they speak of...
92 Seeker Malorie- a halfling Deckhand with a badly scarred face, extending to the top of his head effecting his hair growth noticeably (think scraggly). he has a Flase eye that seems to just look around on its own, but quickly snaps into line with the other eye when someone mentions treasure.
93 Rigmonkey Soliel - a half-elf girl who grew up in a traveling circus and was taken up by pirates after it burnt down. She dances up the rigging of the ship, not keeping balance in the fiercest storms. She has a quick tongue and a fiery temper.
94 Slick Willy: An enormous, intelligent eel who signs on with pirate crews, accompanying their ships to attack other craft from beneath the waterline and defend against aquatic threats in exchange for bodies thrown overboard.
95 Teth-Makina: A githyanki pirate slumming it in the Prime Material, stealing gold on the open ocean rather than godflesh on the Astral Sea for a change of pace. Her ship’s figurehead is the actual head of a zombiefied dragon which breathes necrotizing green flames. Way overqualified for what she’s doing here.
96 Deephost Margot: An aspiring pirate-queen who sought power through symbiosis with a creature of the lightless depths. She must consume alchemical drugs regularly, both to make her body an amenable environment for the creature and to sustain her organs crushed by its occupation of her torso, and in return gains access to its abyssal magic.
97 Ulixes the Tidesworn: A sea-priest who pirates not for wealth, but to ritually enact the supremacy of water over land. A peerless navigator who finds his way by revelation rather than reason.
98 Long Don Clamber: Born to a port whore and raised in the shadow of Jolly Rogers, has always dreamed of becoming the most infamous pirate the seven seas had ever seen. Has had impressive exploits as part of the crew of several notorious pirate captains, but never managed to afford a ship of his own due to blowing his earnings on magico-surgical alterations to make his form more piratey. Has a hook-hand that can fire off a grappling hook, gills and an organ that lets him drink seawater, a liver that can handle any amount of grog, expandable peg legs, a monkey’s tail attached to his back, and so on.
99 Gurglesploosh: A water elemental playing at being a pirate, as it seemed like the most entertaining thing mortals did on the waater. Gurglesploosh doesn’t really understand important (to mortals anyway) concepts like “crime”, “ownership”, or “death”. Starting to enjoy the feeling of blood diluting within its body.
100 First Mate Jeremy Jenkins. His captain has been dead for 5 years. Despite sailing with and leading the remaining crew, Jeremy hasn’t taken the captain role out of respect.
List Contributors: u/dndspeak, u/technowriter, u/Courtholomew, u/Dyslxeian, u/GilgarWebb, u/toomanytomatoes, u/DraXus87, u/a_mauzy, u/Onederboi, u/Oxfordsandtea, u/Red-Claw, u/Selachian, u/Courtholomew, u/ken_NT, u/CT-24601, u/Slainlion, u/Brizzel_The_Lizard, u/spyingformontreal, u/kingofthewildducks, u/MSpaintedLady, u/ethantheemazing, u/kaoschosen, u/FarmerJoe69, u/Prison_Vape, u/generic_brand_cola, u/AEP1C, u/TheKingElessar, u/JaymesMarkham2nd, u/Urist_Galthortig, u/Patchwork18, u/kaoschosen, u/StingerAE, u/PopeCorkytheX, u/Shoeless_Saint, u/crimebiscuit, u/RetepWorm, u/Pidgewiffler, u/HuttersDM, u/Calmly_Ambitious, u/Courtholomew, u/Oldmanenok, u/AlephBaker, u/mrpoopybutth0l3, u/Burrito_Squid, u/Patergia, u/unity57643, u/minorex123, u/ThePragmaticPimp, u/ITS_NOT_FINE, u/NoirGarde, u/AmoBro, u/semiurge, u/RetepWorm, u/Tehwipez
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[Lets Build] Pirates

Welcome to the 54th [Lets Build]!
TOPIC: Pirates
Die Roll Result
1 Captain Bronzebeard II - Following his father's legacy, this dwarf has been scouring the seas looking for the medallion that was stolen from his family. He is getting close to pinpointing it's location, and may hire the players as mercenaries on his quest.
2 Cap'n Flint "the Squint" McGint - A surly fellow who's been plying his trade since afore ye was born, now shut yer gob and come aboard fer adventure and loot! (Also, due to his condition, Squint can't see worth beans and is essentially incompetent in all things piratey aside from the talk. But his crew is outstanding.)
3 Herman the Scar - A very young, good-hearted bard; he won the captaincy of his ship, now named the Encore, in a dance competition. Much more 'adventurer ship' then Pirate ship.
4 Gozze'ch - A lizardfolk with a huge chunk bitten out of his tail. Refers to himself as 'the old Lizard' and likes to act foolish, but is actually quite cunning. Bit the hand off Simon McGurk in a fight over docking rights.
5 He Sails - A tabaxi pirate captain who hunts for treasure but really doesn't like water.
6 Simon McGurk - A sallow-looking man with a collection of prosthetic hands. McGurk is greedy and clever, but extremely lazy and always coming up with intricate plans and labor-saving devices. A children's song about him includes the refrain, "Simon McGurk, scared stiff of work!"
7 Thorkhomtam, The Everraiding- a mummy king who when awoken took to the seas to build an eternal empire on the waves. His ships are fashioned after Egyptian river boats and are manned by skeletons with mummy captains. He pelts ships with flaming arrows before raming and boarding and refuses to use cannons.
8 Gold-Thumbed Lizzie - A pursor and quartermaster, so named because "she holds on to coins so tight they become part've her thumb!"
9 Jem the Angel-eyed - A half-elf with a beautiful, serene face and a strange penchant for murder. Jem is quiet and eerily calm, even in the middle of a battle. He once slipped into a city port and killed seventeen guards and a customs official, put all the bodies in one room, then left a pile of gold equal to the bounty on his head on top of them.
10 First mate Crumblefist - A grey dwarf pirate whose crew was lost following a river out of the underdark and now seeks a crew to take him back through the dangerous waters to return home.
11 Captain Durango Black - Tiefling captain of the Daring Demon. This terrifying swashbuckler is also famous among cutthroats and low lives for being a talented Bard, often telling stories of the devil captain so scary, he can harm men with insults.
12 Captain Syrian Blackhand, human captain of The Ocelot - Made a pact with the god of the seas. His ship is the fastest in the world, but every year he must return to the temple where the accord was struck and cut off one finger. His left hand has only the thumb left.
13 Pennington Pugwash - a human fighter with wrinkled, scrunched up face. Doesn't have real athority on the ship but will still bark orders at people when they're slacking off. Spends his time eating hardtack biscuits and cleaning muck out from between his skin folds.
14 Leon - once a very young boy traveling with his parents on the cheap via cargo ship. When the ship was attacked by pirates and his parents were killed he was taken in by the pirates as they couldn't bear to kill him. Now a young man, he has a complicated relationship with piracy and the captain he serves under. It's the only life he's known since he was young, and the crew treats him like family, but he can't help but feel a bit resentful, and wants something more from life.
15 Annie the Red - a young halfling woman with bright red flowing hair. She is as beautiful as she is ruthless. She may not be the strongest of the crew she is part of, but she is the lightest on her feet (And the lightest with her fingers). A girl who will charm you for an evening, steal your coinpurse, and still leave you wanting more.
16 Half-Blood Harry - Huge and hulking, with impressive tattoos and scars, Harry is someone who makes himself known the instant he enters a room. Largely silent, one could mistake him for a stupid man- in truth he is shrewdly clever and prefers to listen. No one is really sure what his other "half" is... goliath? Cyclops? Giant? Who knows? He is not telling.
17 Laurabelle Lee - a woman of refinement as well as class. She runs the tightest and most efficient ship possible. Every uniform is starched, every button is shiny, even the brig is clean. Laurabelle herself is a stately figure in beautiful high-low dresses with tall leather boots and tight curls on her head. She is charming, but demands respect- and her crew love her as much as they fear her.
18 Quartermaster Berrick - a gnome who is as ruthless as he is small, rarely leaves his office aboard his ship and has mounted a large crossbow pointing at his door in case of disappointing news. While he avoids going into battle himself, his bravery and cunning is unparalleled when he's once again in the thick of it.
19 Dragnet - a ruthless goblin captain who's rise to infamy came with his acquisition of a cursed fishing net. His crew is an assortment of loyal goblins and men and women who have been captured and enthralled by the net. He is clever and quick to start a fight, though quicker to use his expendable crew to save his own life. The colors of his ship depict a crescent moon with a net strung over the bottom tip.
20 Captain Barnical Horn - a tiefling captain who was keelhauled for so long that barnicals grew from his horns now he runs in search of all of his past crew.
21 Rubidoo - the outgoing triton jester of a large pirate crew. Since the crew hates bad puns and witty jokes, they tend to often throw her overboard to get their laughs. Because of this, she has a clockwork arm, replaced after a shark bite. Rubidoo tends to put all sorts of prank hands on her cybernetic limb, including one that lets go of its index finger when you pull it. Despite the torture from the pirates, she tends to be all fun and laughs, believing her sole job in life is to be comedic.
22 Captain Sjondeil Darhringur - A stoic faced captain who's been on a boat since he was born. His heritage is unclear. He captains "The Watcher" a bleak storm gray galleon with grey sails. He is almost always found staring out to the horizon waiting for something that only he understands.
23 Gulliper "Gully" Blackwater - A festive halfing raider of the coastal swamps and the last son of the cursed Blackwater family. He is an amicable enough sort, willing to spare those who surrender, though he has a habit of killing any he suspects of holding magical artifacts.
24 Honorable Captain McQuane: A former naval officer who was captured. Instead of being ransomed or killed, he led a mutiny and rose through the ranks to captain. He found piracy to his liking, but runs the tightest ship on the seas. Legend has it his crew get only an hour of shore leave a year. He’s more than willing to accept surrender or do mercenary work, and is remarkably civil and polite. He insists on being referred to by his full title.
25 Decker - a young teen in loose fitting clothes that swabs the deck. Eager to learn the trade of being a pirate, he’s often given the work that the other seamen see as below them. He escaped a life on the street in big town and seems appreciate having a place to sleep and food to eat.
26 Loud Tom - A boatswain with a voice like a bull and a vocabulary that is truly impressive in its creativity and range, Loud Tom hurls profanity and insults at his crew and everyone else nearly constantly. The one exception is when he is truly angry- while his verbal abuse is mostly good-natured and verbose, his wrath is nearly silent, accompanied by a facial expression that can freeze grog. "Loud Tom is quiet" is a whispered warning that goes through the ship like fire and leaves everyone desperate to stay out of his way.
27 Broadwick the Penitent - an Aasimar Swords bard with the gleam of hatred in her eyes. She killed her angelic patron in a fit of passion and sails the seas in search of a place the guilt cannot reach. Carries a Wand of Smiles that she uses on her victims just before she takes their lives.
28 Gelionexxitrus - A beholder that lives below deck on a fleshy, living, aberration boat. Chuul patrol the deck, twitching warped humanoids work the sails. It's hard to tell whether Gelionexxitrus and the boat are the same being.
29 The Silence - A thousand year old mummy lord who travels in a bubble of silence hundreds of feet wide. Wrapped around her neck is a pendant that allows her to speak and cast spells.
30 The Beekeeper - A friendly half elf druid. His ship is loaded down with apiaries. He steals to support his bees. If asked any questions about his motivations he replies "Bees are dying at an alarming rate."
31 Arianis - A mad fey satyr looking for the best partiers on the material plane. Invitations to their week long hedonistic boat parties are more akin to kidnappings. If you fail to impress, you become the centerpiece/victim of the last night of the party.
32 Revar the Fallen - An arrogant fallen Aasimar, who is easily enraged. He hates the Gods and every Culture, that still devote themselves to them in some form or fashion. He likes to especially raid temples and holy Cities.
33 The Dread Pirate Jazeera; Captain - A dusty skinned, half-elven woman of breathtaking beauty, with black hair and supple frame. She can convince most anyone of most anything, using either intimidation or allure. She captains The Indomitable, a large ship constructed of ebonized woods. Started her seafaring life in search of the pirates who press-ganged her father into servitude, and chose piracy as a (somewhat ironic,) means to an end. Several years on, and with no leads in sight, she has all but abandoned hope of finding her father alive, and has instead turned her focus to attaining power, often through morally grey means, and plans to take revenge for her loss.
34 Garrett; First Mate - A halfling with sandy brown locks of shoulder length hair, and an emerald for his left eye. Originally a stowaway, Jazeera saw his quick wit and cunning to be a useful trait, as he seemed able to talk himself out of nearly any corner, a fine ally to have. After sailing with her for several years, they went their separate ways, as Garrett, trained as a rogue, longed for the stage, rather than the shadows. After several years training as a bard, fate brought the two back together, and Garrett, who had lost his eye during his adventures without Jazeera, was re-instated as first mate.
35 John; Quartermaster - A towering human male, with a few arcane tricks up his sleeve, John and Jazeera have a seething distaste for each other on the surface, but there is a mutual respect for the two in battle. John tends to err on the law and good when moral questions come up, which can often run counter to Jazeera's plans. While the two often get into it, Jazeera recognizes power and quality when she sees it, and knows that her ship is better with John as her tactician and enforcer.
36 Varic; Lead Gunner - A half-elven sorcerer with an affinity for lightning, Varic knows all about how to calculate the trajectory necessary to decimate his foes. As such, he was an obvious choice to lead the gunning crews. When casting spells, his veins surge with arcane energy, visible beneath the surface of his skin.
37 Puddles; Powder Monkey - A dwarven barbarian with a fire red beard, who follows orders and has no fear, it's natural that he'd take on one of the most dangerous job on the ship. Powder Monkeys are responsible for carrying the gunpowder for the gunning crews, and as they often had explosives in their arms, were often in a very dangerous position, should something be mishandled or dropped.
38 Ragnar; Cook - An older man who questions his purpose and existence in life, but has a taste for food. With a long white beard and a barrel-chest, Ragnar can often be found snacking on his favorite food: chicken. Despite his aged appearance and apparent senility, Ragnar is a capable fighter when the chips are down; doubly so if his chicken is threatened.
39 Captain Longhorn - A Minotaur pirate captain with a peg leg, long horns, and a grand, flowing beard. He carries the ship’s wheel on his back and uses it as a shield. If he’s not at the helm, the ship doesn’t move.
40 Smeagle - A conniving, craven bo’sun of a disreputable ship, this stunted aarakocra’s wings were clipped when he was exiled from the sky.
41 Elondrith the Puppeteer - a shady looking mass of dark rags, sporting a mask of ancient porcelain. The crew is said to be immortal, even after being hit by countless arrows and heavily woumded, they run fearlessly into their enemies arms flailing their weapons. Strangely though, they always try to aim for the arms and legs to only incapacitate their foe. Noone has ever heard elondrith utter a single command, only gestures. This is the reason they call him the puppeteer.
42 Broggy the vile, a half giant that assembled a crew of demihumans. Minotaurs, half orcs, goblins, you name it. Hes said to be ruthless and cruel to his foes, but fatherlike to his crew. His main weapon is a huge spiked iron ball on a chain. He is said to have sunken a pitatehunters ship by throwing his weapon once, destroying the mast and ripping a hole into the deck of the ship.
43 Joe, no other names, just Joe - He had joined the ship as a boy, seeking fortune and fame. Over the years he toiled on deck, in the rigging, on the guns. He knows every single board and nail on this ship from bow to stern. Joe had seen his share of action, losing two fingers on his left hand in a sword fight when he was 20, his right ear in a deck fire at 25, all the toes on his right foot while sailing around the cape at 30, yet he carried on. Through his time on board, Joe developed a rigourous discipline. His white hair is kept short, cut with his own knife, and he is clean shaven despite the deep wrinkles on his aging leathery face. "No sense being pretty when you're dead!" he would say. When drunk, Joe tells stories of his time at sea, all 50 years of it. Each story has a tattoo to go with it, his skin a veritable tapestry of his life etched from his knuckles to his neck and down to his ankles. As for rank, Joe never cared for it, command was not his thing. Still, he often takes youngsters under his wing, teaching them the ropes, keeping them out of trouble. Even the captain looks up to Joe, often taking his guidance on the more complicated nautical and tactical matters. Joes advanced years did nothing to diminish his fighting ability. His ability with a cutlass is second to none and twinned with his knowledge of ships he can turn an advantage in any fight at sea. And pray you never meet the loud end of his flintlock. Nobody has ever seen him miss and lived to tell the tale.
44 Captain Mangan - an old long-bearded man with a lot of scars. He doesn't own a ship but claims to be a former leader of a smuggler guild. He has hidden his treasures in a secret place. He is a bit crazy and forgetful. A lot of statements where to find his treasures contradict themself. He is very proud and brags about it all the time.
45 Jebadiah - A cabin boy who thinks himself much more important and sometimes threatening than he really is. He hates whenever someone brings up his lowly position, and thinks that he deserves more. Jebadiah tries to avoid danger whenever possible, but when his reputation is on the line will rashly leap into it.
46 Left Shoe - A quiet, gnarled dwarf who slurs his words and drools slightly when he talks. He is clearly sick with something, and has lost much of his feeling. This has led to his killing people "to feel their lives."
47 Jim The Barber- A Captain, originally called James the Barbarous. Got tired of correcting people who misheard it and took up a pair of clippers out of curiosity. Now runs a very profitable side-business haircutting and beard trimming; it is fulfilling enough that Jim is considering giving up piracy altogether.
48 Molly the Red and Captain Crookshanks - Molly was born on a pirate ship and has developed a fierce reputation as a daring and fearless captain. Byron Crookshanks, the second son of a minor Duke, joined the Eirinie Royal Navy and quickly rose to prominence as a fair and punctiliously honorable naval officer. Their rivalry was marked by close escapes, heated battles, and chases over half the known world. When Eirin was overwhelmed and swallowed by the Chriam Empire, Crookshanks and his crew refused to bend the knee, and found themselves a ship without a country. The two rivals became partners during a firefight with the Criamen Navy and were wed almost immediately thereafter. Now the parents of a half-dozen children, the two run a small fleet of privateers as the Eirinie Navy-in-Exile.
49 The Lost Fisherman- possibly just a legend that pirates tell to scare each other, The Lost Fisherman is an old Dwarf in a fishing skiff, floating out in the middle of the ocean. They say he can see your soul. There was a ship, Sharkey's Devil, that ran across him once- three hundred blackhearted pirate veterans. Another ship found the Devil a week later, floating aimlessly. The captain and crew were dangling from the yardarms, gaffed and strung together; like a grotesque fish market, they said. The only survivors were two prisoners and the grommit, who was crazy with fear, and never left land again when they got him back- a cobbler, he is now, and a pious man. But he's just a story, a way to get scare pirates away, right? Right? I mean, there are other ships that have supposedly had similar fates, but it is probably a story. Yeah, that's it. A story.
50 Captain Scrack - The goblin captain of Scrack's Scuttler (see the ship section). He has "VERMIN" burned into his cheek like a brand. Scrack is a Chaotic Good captain who is well liked by his crew. He doesn't discuss his past, but seems to take some joy in defeating haughty nobles.
51 Vileem Crabshanks - A goblin pirate who would gladly avoid any search for treasure, yet adventure seems to find her. Has honest aspiration to become a merchant, but faces prejudice and misfortune.
52 Koros the Black - A (Krynn) minotaur, who aims to ravage a town and personally loot the local Duke's Manor. In truth, he's only after a treasure lost by his grandfather to the Duke's ancestors, but the Code of Honor demands blood must spill as well.
53 Sharonogue the Trident—Few know his name, but Sharonogue is the clever and ruthless Sahuagin captain of a submersible with a fully amphibian crew. The submersible has a wreck of another pirate ship strapped to its hull. Sharongue scouts out his target with a pod of sharks, then when the moment is right, his spellcasters summon a thick fog. Out of the fog, the submersible rises, looking to the opposing vessel as if a ghost ship encrusted with mollusks and water-logged has apparated before them. The above-water portion can soak up the cannon fire from their desperate quarry but the submersible inexorably approaches until Sharonoques merciless crew can board.
54 Gatsi Shrinemason - A Dwarven Cleric of Zeboim, who builds faith and worship among all sea-goers. You can find him at work in towns or the wilds, building shrines, alters, obelisks, spreading word; or maybe just bullying his way onto a ship to go where he's called.
55 Crablegs - a human deckhand that always walks sideways.
56 Amir-Sual - Once a wealthy sea merchant of the oceans of Osad, he turned to piracy after it was discovered he had used privateers to sink his competition. He has managed to bind 2 jinn to his ship so as to conquer the opal sea: A wind jinn for his sails, and a fire jinn for makeshift cannon
57 Rimmarie, first mate - Once a prostitute of some nowhere costal town, her life was saved by Amir when he was still just a crooked merchant, she stands by her now husband's side on the opal sea. She is said to have made a deal with a dark jinn who wanted who helped bind two others to the ship.
58 First Mate Shaw - a classic sword n' board fighter with a few spell scrolls at his disposal. Shaw has a few dialogue quirks, if anyone bothers to talk to him. "I'm Shaw of it" "How can you be sure? I'm Shaw!"
59 Dashu - A long term priate deckhand. An impressive climber and prefers small sharp daggers. Very competent and finds places on crews easily. Secretly he is a wererat who is first to leave his crewmates to their fates the moment things go wrong. Even if it means living as a rat in the bilges of a military vessel until next port.
60 Deathskull the Man Killer - This pirates real name is Phill, he's a kind man who has bad luck all around him. If he helps out other ships they end up sinking and burning down, nothing good happens around him. He is known as a man killer even though he tries to be very kind.
61 Captain Merriatt, Elven pirate of the Azure Sea - He hunts at night, catching ships completely off guard on moonless nights. His brutal reputation is totally manufactured, he hates bloodshed. His ship, The Death Night, a dark-hulled and black sailed schooner has an enchanted brig that creates a Duplicate of its prisoners on deck. Once a ship has been taken, Merriatt takes the captain below, then returns to "execute" the Duplicate in front of the captured crew. After ransacking his victim's ship, he lets the crew go on their way. The capture captains are let off at the next safe port, warned never to to reveal the truth, or risk the lives of every other captain on the Azure Sea.
62 Rat-Faced Bill - Bill had a vision problem ever since a bully splashed boiling water in his face when he was 9. He squints to see and he looks like a rat when he squints. Unfortunately Bill had to squint a lot. He was bullied for so long that when he turned 16 he kidnapped every single one of the 13 people that bullied him and put them in a small dinghy with no sails and no oars and pushed them out to sea. Bill then decided to become a pirate as a way to support himself and to see if he could find the dinghy. Bill rules with an iron fist but he is always fair and so his crew has much respect for him. His favorite punishment is forcing prisoners to build a dinghy out of their former ship and pushing them out to sea.
63 Arfinkle - Arfinkle is a crafty wizard with a wicked sense of humor and even more wicked spells. His entire crew is odd bronze contraptions, fueled equally by steam and twisted magic. His favorite one is a teapot with legs and a sleep dart shooter.
64 Last Mate - Last Mate is a sailor by trade and probably among the worst to ever attempt it. By the time he calls out "Land Ho" from the Crow's Nest, he's already forgotten in which direction it is by the time he's scrambled down to the deck. Last Mate also happens to never really quite recall any nautical terms whatsoever and has to be constantly reminded what port and starboard mean. However, Last Mate's relentless enthusiasm and deep respect for the Captain helps make him a tolerable, if not slightly detrimental, member of the crew.
65 Obum the Breaker - Former naval captain. Charismatic and popular, but mostly inept. Relies heavily on his First Mate Ideen (a warlock serving the Devil Osouro) and his boatswain Hwonk the Vile.
66 Mourning Dove - A tall and graceful captain whose husband, a sailor, was seduced by a woman on his ship and disappeared. Mourning Dove wears a white eye mask and kills all adult females on the boats she takes. Her crew is all male.
67 Powdermonkey Conrad - a small halfling boy. He is an agile climber who was found on a piece of floating boat wreckage as a child. He is full of optimism and often pulls tricks on his crewmates, but is fiercely loyal.
68 The Flamedancer - a goliath captain with the ability to create fire. He commonly attempts to throw fire at the sail of an enemy ship to immobilise it before getting close enough to burn the rest of the ship to surrender. Works with first mate Johnson, a sorcerer with the "Create or Destroy Water" spell who control flames that spread too fast or put out a captured ship. He brutally burns any dissenters and enemy captains who fight in front of his crew, as a show of force, while Johnson stands by.
69 Rosie the Rivener - A well built and fiercely independent woman who pioneered a form of maritime execution in which the victim is lashed between two ships that then sail apart, ripping the victim in half.
70 The Dead Pirate Roberts - A skeleton that resides in the captain's quarters of a pirate ship called the Death Jester. He's not animated or anything, he's really just a skeleton. The First Mate is a spellcaster who can speak with the dead, and frequently consults Roberts for advice.
71 Dastardly Dave Deadbeard. Elderly human retired pirate. Usually found in the corner of a tavern drinking rum and telling stories of his plundering days. Mildly partial to a glass of bison milk. Has no beard.
72 Toruvah Hullfinder- This man's body ripples with muscle, and his hands are like oyster-hammers. He fights bare-handed, leaping into the water and tearing holes in enemy vessels. He has an odd penchant for collecting bits of driftwood.
73 Bertha Redbraid, the dwarven sea lass. Captain of the Dread Drakkar, a longship of dwarven construction. She loves looting and sinking vessels of Elvish make.
74 Captain Koskinen - 6'7" tall, 320lb tiefling with dark purple skin and a great many scars. He is barrel chested and imposing, with a deep and raspy voice, but he is actually a very warm and friendly host to guests aboard his ship, which sails the great desert at the head of a fleet of lost ships driven by a great sandstorm.
75 Shivering Sally- Just what this pirate is is unclear, since she is always heavily bundled up and complaining of the cold. She clearly has some magical connection to ice, which makes her a dangerous opponent, but mostly she is notable for the betting pool on what race she is, and who will get a look to find out.
76 Reversal of Fortune: A Goliath with a prominent burn scar along the right side of his face. Reversal of Fortune is a powerful swordsman and cunning captain. He is also subject to a powerful curse; every two years, he is destined to lose everything he owns. He is unaware of the curse, attributing his sudden biannual losses to bad luck or twists of fate.
77 Captain Bismuth Von Hart a green tiefling swashbuckler in search of a way to remove the curse he has obtained. Formerly a Halfing, Captain Hart sacrficed his own appear, gaining tainted blood in exchange for a magically item/secret from a haunted island far to the east.
78 Marquis de Lafayette - a human sailor on his way to deliver news about the war effort of [insert country here]. On the weekends he does acapella with his crew. He loves whiskey, revolution, and women.
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List Contributors: u/dndspeak, u/technowriter, u/Courtholomew, u/Dyslxeian, u/GilgarWebb, u/toomanytomatoes, u/DraXus87, u/a_mauzy, u/Onederboi, u/Oxfordsandtea, u/Red-Claw, u/Selachian, u/Courtholomew, u/ken_NT, u/CT-24601, u/Slainlion, u/Brizzel_The_Lizard, u/spyingformontreal, u/kingofthewildducks, u/MSpaintedLady, u/ethantheemazing, u/kaoschosen, u/FarmerJoe69, u/Prison_Vape, u/generic_brand_cola, u/AEP1C, u/TheKingElessar, u/JaymesMarkham2nd, u/Urist_Galthortig, u/Patchwork18, u/kaoschosen, u/StingerAE, u/PopeCorkytheX, u/Shoeless_Saint, u/crimebiscuit, u/RetepWorm, u/Pidgewiffler, u/HuttersDM, u/Calmly_Ambitious, u/Courtholomew, u/Oldmanenok, u/AlephBaker
submitted by dndspeak to d100 [link] [comments]

Sklansky $ vs. Galfond Bucks

Bored and don't feel like studying for finals so thought I'd take some time and explain the difference between Sklansky Dollars and Galfond Bucks. Here's Galfond's original post, but it can get a little complicated so hopefully this more condensed version that compares the two with some basic examples is a little easier to understand.
SKLANSKY DOLLARS
Sklansky $ is essentially how much you can expect to win from a pot based on your equity in the hand at that current point in time. In other words, it's your EV for AI situations. Formula:
Ex) Effective stacks are $100. Villain is a massive donk & decides to shove pre with KTs because he "saw Negreanu make that move on TV once!" Hero wakes up with KK and snap calls. Board runs out 256TT and Villain scoops the pot. What are our Sklansky $ for this play?
Step 1: Determine your equity when the money went in.
Step 2: Multiply your equity (in decimal format) by the total size of the pot (i.e. find the % of the pot you had equity for).
Step 3: Subtract the final call amount from our "$ equity" in the pot.
GALFOND BUCKS (G-BUCKS) Galfond came up with this concept that builds off of Skalnsky $. The problem with Skalnsky $ is that they require you to put Villain on exactly 2 cards, which is pretty impossible in the middle of a hand, thus G-Bucks are considered a little more practical. G-Bucks determine how much you would have won/lost by comparing the equity of your hand against a range of hands, instead of against a specific hand
Step1: Narrow down Villain's range as much as possible. Step 2: Plug your hand into an equity calculator and work out your equity vs. his range. Step 3: Multiply the size of the pot by your % of equity to determine how much you should expect to win/lose on average in certain spots.
Ex1) Effective stacks are $100. It folds to Villain in the SB who shoves for $100 because "my coach TrueShak told me this was a good play!" Hero looks down at AKo in the BB. From previous experience with Villain, we know that he's doing this with any pocket pair or 2 broadway cards. Hero decides to call. Villain turns over AA, board doesn't improve, and Villain scoops the pot again. Did we make a +EV play by calling here?
NOSEBLEED EXAMPLE) Hero just won the Sunday Millions, decided to leave his wife and kids behind and move to Macau like the true degen he is. Effective stacks are $100,000 and Hero is on the BTN. Action starts with Durr UTG, who raises to $3,000. Folds to Hero who looks down at AQo and calls, blinds both fold. Now let's just pretend for a second Durr is playing standard TAG by betting his draws and never slowplaying. Flop comes Q45 rainbow, Durr bets $4,000 into a pot of ~$7,000 and Hero calls. Turn is a 9 to complete the rainbow, Durr bets $10,000 and Hero calls. River is another 9, making no flush draws possible on the board. The pot is now $35,000 and Durr overbets $50,000 because Jungleman just walked into the room and apparently Durr has an appointment he forgot about so needs to leave quickly. Does Hero call here?
Durr's range:
We can now assume Villain's range consists of:
Our equity vs. Durr's range: 61.7% $135,000 pot * 0.617 of our equity = $83,295 G-Bucks, meaning we earn on average $33,295 G-Bucks (83,295 - last bet size) by making this call here, so it is a +EV play.
Maybe this is old news to some of you but I think most can learn a little something off this on their way to becoming "Galfond billionaires" as he puts it. :)
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The Modern Magus’ Magazine .// Notable Servants and You [The RAMPANT VICIOUS Issue]

Guten Abend, fellow Masters.
It is now 10:39 PM, and my desk freezes over once more as it is battered by the chill winds from nearby mountain ranges. For those of you who missed the first few issues, I live in colder climes and have a habit of leaving my windows open. All I’m missing is a goddamn yodel relay chain - technically I DO live on a hill, so that’s something.
Previous Issues can be viewed here for your convenience:
MMM01 .// Inconclusive, Abridged, and Opinionated - Saber Issue
MMM02 .// Obligatory Rider Issue
MMM03 .// The Kojirou Issue: The Saving of France, et al.
Given that the latest server updates are still in (debatable, doubtful) progress, now would be a good time to practice the words of Sasaki Kojirou, the Grand Saviour and Liberator of France - the HARMONIOUS WAY.
”Maintenance is but an Ephemeral State of Swallows.”
Right, you people still with me?
Good. What, practicing the Harmonious Way is difficult because we’ve more or less had more than 24 hours of maintenance at this point?
Well, you have to try. You DO know what happens to people who don’t try, right? Because trust me - you don’t want to end up like them. Unless you DO. In which case, let me welcome you to the next episode of the MMM.
Presenting: The Modern Magus’ Magazine, RAMPANT VICIOUS ISSUE.
UPDATE
This section is now present in all MMMs: Please refer to this post from kairosity for specifics, but the gist is I'm apparently retarded and Anti-Magic is actually debuff resistance, so now I need to go through all the guides and change everything.
Sigh.
Well, at least we know now! TIME TO THROW ALL THOSE PRIMEVAL MAGICKS OUT OF THE WINDOW AYYYYYYYYY
CLASS: BERSERKER
That's RIGHT. FULL CAPS IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR BUSTER BRAVE CHAIN.
Ahem.
Prior to our non-stop maintenance shenanigans, the balance of FGO was, for the lack of a better word, a bloody joke. FGO basically consists of the following flowchart:
  • Do you have Jeanne? (Most people will say "No.")
  • Do you have a Berserker? (Some people can say "Yes.")
  • Is it at least 3 stars? If it is, you're not totally fucked - but only 50% of the time.
Welcome to the flawed world of bad game design and berserking. If i were to describe berserkers, they would all be just a bunch of glass sculptures punching each other with steel knuckles. Now don't ask me how that works - that mental image was conjured for the express purpose of making the reader think of imaginary PAIN.
Berserkers in this game have a very unique (read: stupid) benefit stapled to them by the inept folks at delightworks: They punch everyone twice as hard. In EXCHANGE, everyone punches THEM twice as hard, INCLUSIVE OF CRITICALS.
Do I have your attention yet? Well I hope I do, because a lot of people at this point would be going "Why play berserkers then?! They're bloody terrible!". That is fortunately only half-correct. 50% of the time, Berserkers hold solitary reign over the pseudo-noble phatasm known as the BUSTER BRAVE CHAIN. On proper servants, the legendary BB Chain can decimate anything it touches, especially if Master Skill boosted.
Think Kojirou, but on steroids, with an insatiable lust for yolo.
Congratulations, you have just imagined what the life of a Berserker is like in FGO.
Berserkers come equipped with only one kind of card distribution - the only acceptable kind, really. The divine combination is Q A B B B (unless you are Vlad, then you have my condolences SASAGEYOU SONO CHI, SONO INOCHI WO), and it is very likely (partially) because of this that the game was taken offline to fix balance issues. Does Hercules getting critted for 3k by a wyvern large swallow make any sense to you?
No, no it doesn't. But that's how things are.
As their name suggests, one uses berserkers exclusively to deal huge damage to things, along with very artistic means of forcing them to stay alive - including but not limited to Forced Evasion, actually using St. George to cast Protector Knight, Mashu's Shield Skill, you name it I've seen it. With insanely powerful noble phantasms and damage output that cannot be matched, those of you unfortunate enough to have been forced into a continue will DEFINITELY remember how it felt to maul the offending monster in the face with a fully-charged GOD FORCE.
Honestly, at this point, they should just rename the class Dodger.
Berserker: The Actual Numbers
Credit goes to Kyte of Beast's Lair for datamining these numbers.
Attacke Defende Attacker Base Multiplie Triangle Multiplie Final Damage Multiplier
Saber, Berserker, 1000, 2000, 2000
Archer, Berserker, 950, 2000, 1900
Lancer, Berserker, 1050, 2000, 2100
Rider, Berserker, 1000, 2000, 2000
Caster, Berserker, 900, 2000, 1800
Assassin, Berserker, 900, 2000, 1800
Berserker, Berserker, 1200, 1500, 1800
Shielder, Berserker, 900, 1000, 900
Ruler, Berserker, 1100, 2000, 2200
So yeah, "Balance". Roughly translates to "Get fucked by everything". Thanks, Delightworks.
Berserker: Vlad the Third
Max Stats: HP 13770 ATK 11499
NP: The Bloodstained King of Demons, Kazikli Bey (GAZOOGLY) // Single target damage, obtain large amount of stars. [ARTS]
Skill 1: Vampirism A, decrease enemy gauge, increase own NP
Skill 2: Transformation C, Slightly increases Def for 3 turns.
Skill 3: Battle Continuation A, Revives with set amount of HP once per turn after death. Can still be killed on same turn. HP increases with rank.
Attack Pattern: Lancer
Cards: Q A A B B
In the beginning, there were five star servants.
In the beginning, no one knew about S-type growth curves.
In the beginning, there was...
VLAD WARS
Well, not really, but we've come a long way since "Buster Brave Chain is Cruise Control for Cool". Vlad now has the honour of being THE first arts-based berserker there was, and the world is much better for it.
Back when the game was still unbalanced and I wasn't as enlightened, we all thought that BBB was the end-all be all to everything. We didn't take into account Vlad's SABER-esq balanced card layout, the value of his arts chaining, and how even GAZOOGLY GHEY can be used to artschain. We didn't think about how Tamamog would eventually be released, giving vlad a buff that could make him gazoogly the goddamn moon if he wanted to, and gain enough arts again to use it next turn.
We also had no idea about things like maxed out dragon pulses and 75% Hollow Magic CEs. In short, we were young, and somewhat stupid. However, Uncle VlatTM was wise. He waited for the correct time, until everyone had their 5-stars past the level 60 mark... And then he started to scale.
And before you knew it, you started hearing Vlad's lines everywhere you went.
SASAGEYOU SONO CHI
SONO INOCHI WO
What do you mean, it's only me? I'm pretty sure everyone hears it too. I mean come on - he fucking says it all the time. If it hasn't been obvious enough, Vlad is an amazing servant - Berserkers like Vlad can be viewed as "Technical" berserkers - I have lost track of the amount of times a master buffed vlad could BB a golden hand, Gazoogly a hand, and kill the last one with an extra. Farming time optimization HOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Of course, everyone talks about Kaleidoscope and vampirism, or Hollow Magic and vampirism. How about 50% dragon pulse and vampirism + artschains? Or 50% DP and Tamamog's Suiten Nikkou?
It is worth noting that Vlad's stats only become awesome near the 70 ranges - he grows the most from 70 to 80, and then gains 200 attack between 80 to 90 because of growth rates. Go figure. Most people by now have already realized that vlad is amazing - Battle continution to stay alive, Vampirism to charge NP, and even Transformation plays a part - as berserkers generate quite a lot of NP when being hit, being mauled by multi-hit attacks with defense on can help them survive it AND build NP. If he DIES, there's always continuation to save the day.
There's not much else to say here other than the fact that vlad has a still-unreleased interlude, which sees Gazoogly's base damage jump from 600% to 700%.
So, until said interlude comes out, LET'S SASAGEYOU. sonochisonoinochiwoooooooo
Berserker: Sakata Kintoki
Max Stats: HP 12150 ATK 12712
NP: Golden Impact, Golden Spark // Single target damage. Medium chance of stun. Overcharge increases chance/ [BUSTER]
Skill 1: Monstrous Strength C, Attack + for 1 turn.
Skill 2: Animal Conversation C, Increase self NP Gauge.
Skill 3: Divine Body C, Increase self resistance to attack debuffs, heals self for fixed amount. (Probably 1600)
Attack Pattern: Berserker (Probably)
Cards: Q A B B B
Kintoki, AKA that one guy who always makes people go "Who?" was originally a servant who featured in Fate/Apocrypha when it was still designed to be an online game of sorts. Apocrypha went on to become a novel if memory serves, and the game is what FGO is today. With a Divinity of D, but Mad Enhancement of E, Kintoki is supposedly some half-breed Oni/ Mountain God who is obsessed with all things Golden, which explains his choice of fashion and dress sense.
A focused damage berserker, Kintoki's stats outweigh that of Heracles', coming in with an ATK of 12712. Kintoki's abilities are mostly kind of odd, with a mix of a one-turn attack buff, a self-heal, and a rare self-NP gauge increase. Given that Vlad's vampirism grants him 20% whether it hits or not, I suppose I'll have to see exactly how much NP talking to animals gives.
Coming with a standard Q A B B B also helps - if Lu Bu were Herakles Lite, this guy is probably Herakles Plus. Granted, Divinity D isn't as potent as divinity A, and I'm not quite sure how hard Golden Spark hits for - the Stun is quite interesting, however, and should go off more frequently than God Force given that it has a medium chance.
Update: Nov 15, the field tests are out and the results are in: Kin-tooky basically punches things, and they die. Golden Spark hits things, and they explode. Animal Conversation has turned out to be surprisingly useful for cost-saving - a maxed out Hollow Magic, or in some cases even a Dpulse can go a long way to freeing up cost for use on other areas. As far as Kin-tooky is concerned: his purpose to break things as hard as he can remains unchanged. If anything, we just not know that he does it very well, although he is prone to exploding due to a lack of defensive skills.
Berserker: Lancelot
Max Stats: HP 10318 ATK 10468
NP: A Knight Does Not Die with Empty Hands, Knight of Honour // AOE damage, increases self ATK for 3 turns. Overcharge increases ATK value. [QUICK]
Skill 1: Eternal Arms Mastership A, Grants Focus status for 3 turns.
Skill 2: Protection of Faeries A, Increase self Star generation for 3 turns.
Attack Pattern: Berserker
Cards: Q A B B B
Update: lxlanayalxl has raised his concerns about Lancelot in his post here, detailing why he is a risky choice. While I don't necessarily agree with all that is being said there, it is a detailed post, and interested parties can have a look at it so they can make a more informed choice. I view Lancelot as a berserker that works with other star-focused servants - it is advised that readers take this into account as they read the analysis below.
Everyone's favourite Mad Dog Black Knight is back, sporting a Mad Enhancement of C and a paltry E in Anti-Magic. Lancelot was one of the many enemy servants featured in France, and while some players have had the (mis?)fortune of encountering his machine guns, I actually fought Lancelot too long ago to even remember how he attacked - to give you an idea, I fought Lancelot before I started this series.
With that being said, Lancelot is pretty awesome for a 4 star, with well-balanced stats and very useful skills at his disposal. At the time of writing Lancelot is THE only berserker servant with a Focus skill and an ability to increase self star generation - if you slap a stargen CE on him this effectively causes Lancelot to become a pseudo-assassin who punches you in the face... or shoots you with machine guns. I don't know. Either way, this skill has great synergy with servants who generate stars (assassins), or servants who have skills that generate stars (assassin and saber).
If you are the kind of player that enjoys progressively making things more terrifying (or terrible, depending on who you ask), you could even slap a Crit Dmg + CE on Lancelot to make him hit crazy numbers, and laugh while doing the above.
Interestingly, Lancelot works very well with servants that generate stars with their NP, such as Vlad (15 via Kazikli Bey, often on turn 1), and Atalanta, who also has Focus and can generate stars with her AOE Phoibos Catastrophe. It is perhaps because of this odd obsession with stars that has caused Lancelot's NP to become a Quick one as well - at a glance this is underwhelming, but the hidden value of this is that Knight of Honour is a SETUP Noble Phantasm.
Think about it: A quick chain (not even Quick brave, although that is the best scenario) will grant you 10 stars before anything is even done. It is safe to assume that Lancelot with Mastership active will be able to generate at least 8~10 more stars once the chain is done (with the other parts of the chain supplemented by other people as Lancelot can't Quick Brave), leading to a net amount of roughly 20 stars next turn.
This is effectively 20 X 11%, which is 220% Crit distributed across 5 stars. Granted, if the system doesn't DRAW any lancelot cards next turn, you're screwed, but perhaps this is why servants with Focus tend to work well with each other. Imagine granting that 220% to an Archer, like Gilgamesh or Atalanta, who both have Focus and Indpendent Action - 220% crit divided over 2~3 cards. If you manage to pull 3 Gilgamesh or Atalanta cards, that is also a high-chance crit brave chain.
Talk about arithmetical power - and here I thought all Lancelot did was scream at people from behind his funny black helmet. He may have an excel spreadsheet in there - who knows?
With reference to the points raised by u/lxlanayalxl, fielding Lancelot would mean that you would have to support him with other Star-gen servants. Although his B B B cardpool can cause the deck to become lopsided, I feel that the busters are required to take advantage of the crit stars after they have been generated. If we have a sample PT of Hassan (Q Q Q A B), Atalanta (Q Q A A B) and Lancelot (Q A B B B), that would give us a total of 6 Q, 4 A, 5 B. That's a 40% chance of pulling Quick a 26.66% of pulling Arts, and a 33.33% chance of pulling a Buster card per draw, with 5 cards drawn per turn.
Realistically these numbers don't exactly mean you'd get a Quick chain (Or a buster chain, or having a quick in ther at all for the matter) all the time - I've run triple zerker parties and gotten Q and A in various places although I've had 60% chance of drawing a buster in each of my draws. Interestingly, if you field Lancelot with Vlad, Kazikli Bey generates 15 stars before anything else, and you may actually get some mileage from vacuuming up said stars with Focus next turn.
Lancelot is, for all intents and purposes, a really solid choice for a berserker slot in the party, assuming that the party is built around him. He isn't a general-use berserker, unlike Tamamog or Herakles. He does have the potential to hit bullshit numbers on a semi-regular basis, however, assuming that he doesn't get killed in the process. If anyone ever manages to field a Vlad/ Lancelot/ Gilgamesh party, please take a video of it with the appropriate commentary. I'd really like to see all this star-based violence in action.
Berserker: TamamoCAT
Max Stats: HP 11458 ATK 9026
NP: SANSANNIKKOUHIRUYASUMISHUCHINIKURIN, aka Bright Sunlit Nap, Palace Banquet // AOE, Self-Heal for 3 Turns, Self-Stun for 2 turns [QUICK]
Skill 1: Monstrous Strength B, Attack + for 2 turns.
Skill 2: Curses Techniques E // Low chance of lowering Enemy Gauge.
Skill 3: Transformation B // Raises self DEF for 3 turns. (This is a great skill on a Berserker, Kiyohime's C already provides quite some mileage.)
Attack Pattern: Rider (Aww yeah Tamamog)
Cards: Q A B B B
Born from one of the nine Tails of Tamamo-No-Mae after she unceremoniously disposed of them into the abyss, TamamoCAT is the crystallization of Tamamo's more sincere aspects. She's so sincere and honest that she will really just punch you in the face with a Buster, twice. Welcome to the world of Tamamog.
Some people have been asking me why I call TamamoCAT Tamamog. The reason is simple - Mog is a cat that has been immortalized in a series of children's books. Tamamocat is a... cat fox. Hence, Tamamog. It's easier to type, and is really just shorthand. Moving on with the actual content now, we have a few things that jump out at us right away:
Tamamog is unique in that she has a Rider attack pattern, as a BERSERKER. While I did not exactly whip out my calculator and COUNT, this means that Tamamog's Buster card consists of TWO swings. I common see figures of "3.8, 1.8" on a buster swing, and although a solid 5k from Lu Bu is very satisfying, there's something terrifying about a crazy kimono cat punching you for almost 6k damage while saying catty lines in a catty way.
While one may raise the question of why Tamamog talks, the answer is apparently because she only has a C in Mad enhancement. While it is true that Tamamog's attack stat is actually hideously low for a berseker, to instantly write off out catty friend is a silly mistake. Few people realize that very little Berserkers (in fact, none at all I think) can self-heal: Tamamog does exactly that. If paired with Jeanne, she can effectively self-repair at the cost of she and Jeanne not doing anything for two turns. Resultant damage from the non-invicible turn will be outhealed by Sunny Nap and Luminoshte Eternelle - Tamamog effectively pulls a goddamn Doctor Who and regenerates before your eyes. Much like the Doctor, our Cat Friend also shoots lasers before regenerating - the NP damage is nothing to sneeze at as it still counts as a WEAK hit.
Since Sunny nap is a Quick NP, it CAN be used to generate stars if your party is aiming to crit in Tamamog's absence. While her stun is regrettable, I suppose the damage that berserkers take in general will be reduced after the update, bringing up the possibility that she can outheal the damage, especially if she is equipped with weakness reduction CEs - the 4star one gives 25% weakness reduction and HP increase. although with the update on what those CEs actually are, I'd say go for an offense or DEF one. Maybe just one that updates her buster power because Delightworks hates berserkers.
It is possible to view Tamamog as a sort of Agile Berserker - an angry monk-type character if you will. It is possible to pop Reconstruction on the turn that you use Sunny nap - it'll significantly reduce incoming damage, and Tamamog will be refreshed and ready to go after 2 turns of being asleep. Assuming that Curse Mastery actually does something, Tamamog has the potential to become a versatile, even persistent Berserker who tries pretty hard not to die - and succeeds.
If everything else fails, there's always the apron and her multitude of knives. Oh, she gets a ladle in her final evolution stage.
Berserker: HERACLES
Max Stats: HP 10327 ATK 10655
NP: Nine Lives // Single target damage, Def debuff for 3 turns. [BUSTER]
Skill 1: Ferocity A+, Attack + for 3 turns, Mental Debuff resistance +
Skill 2: Mind's Eye (False) B, Dodge for 1 turn, defense + for 3 turns. He's like Kojirou Hulk.
Skill 3: Battle Continuation A, UPDATE: Apparently only revives him with X amount of HP after death.
Attack Pattern: Berserker
Mad Enhancement B, Divinity A.
Q A B B B setup with battle continuation, a Buster NP, Mind's eye, and Ferocity A+.
Seriously.
Like, really. What do you want me to say?
HERACLES IS THE MOTHERFUCKING BRINGER OF PAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIINNNNNNNNNNN!!!
Something to that effect? Well, that's because THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HE BLOODY IS. Heracles is flat-out SCARY, even MESSED UP. If you thought Kojirou saving France was amazing, Heracles probably bench-presses France while saving the goddamn CONTINENT. I'd say world - but that's Atlas' job.
I have had the good fortune of having Heracles in my support slot just ONCE. Just ONCE. The combined damage buff from Divinity, Berserker class advantage, Ferocity, BBB and the Temporary Strengthen master skill caused a simple Buster Brave Chain to break over 25k in damage. I just stopped counting I think - I've seen high leveled Hercules swing for about 60k with Nine Lives in the chain.
And if you think he's dead... Well, he's not really dead. Thanks to Battle Continuation, he will continue to live on, UNDYING (revived after he dies once, at least. Not sure if number increases with rank), AND MACING YOUR FACE, FOR AT LEAST THREE TURNS. The BEST PART of all this is that he is FOUR STAR! You see why people say Vlad is terrible now? I mean, with people like Heracles around, it's hard to live up to these impossible standards, yeah?
Give us a break, Greek God guy.
Berserker: LU BU FENG XIAN
Max Stats: HP 8302 ATK 8119
NP: Five Soldiers of the War God, GOD FORCE // Single Target damage, low chance to stun (and if it stuns it is fucking glorious) [BUSTER]
Skill 1: Ferocity B+, Attack + for 3 turns, Mental Debuff resistance +
Skill 2: Image of Betrayal B: Incease self defense for 3 turns, Attack buffs have a chance to fail for 3 turns. (If you use the buff first, Image of Betrayal does not erase it.)
Attack Pattern: Berserker
Cards: Q A B B B
Lu Bu Feng Xian. Brother (somewhat traitorous but...). Soldier. General. War God. GOD FORCE.
Lu Bu is basically Delightwork's way of being a non-shitty company. For those who did not have the good fortune of rolling Heracles, Lu Bu is Heracles Lite. Almost like the real thing, but with enough removed to make you angry.
In fact, it makes you SO ANGRY, that you feel a compelling DESIRE to utilize GOD FORCE. Do you know how satisfying it is when God Force stuns a troublesome boss? That's me right there, fighting Jeanne Orta. With only Lu Bu left because everyone else is dead - yes, even Jeanne. And then. And then.
GOD FORCE STUNS.
In that one single moment in time, my triumphant cry of "HA! GOTCHA BIIIIIIIIITCCCH!" was so loud, my neighbour's lights came on.
It was 2AM. But enough of that.
Famously remembered as a character in the Three Kingdoms, Lu Bu was a relatively backstabby kinda guy who stabbed his foster father twice. Or was it two foster fathers one time each? No matter, thing is, Lu Bu was awesome in life. He's still kinda awesome here, but because he's not quite the Lamborghini that Heracles is, we actually have to put in some effort as opposed to facerolling. Mashu's shield, Emergency Evasion, and Jeanne are all good friends to Lu Bu - keeping him alive will cause him to re-enact the legendary BBB Buster Brave Chain, commonly dealing close to 19k damage with Ferocity active.
The main reason I chose Lu Bu over Darius III was simply because of the NP: Atanatos Ten Thousand is an AOE sweep with Def down, but Lu Bu simply shoots some idiot with his bow and they FUCKING DIE most of the time.
What's there NOT to love about that?
Being 3 star, his cost is lower, he costs less to feed, he has Mad Enhancement A, and he's cheaper to fuse copies of himself when it comes to making GOD FORCE even more GODLY. Seriously, pick up Lu Bu and go stir up Big Trouble in Little China.
He deserves that much, you know.
Berserker: Kiyohime
Max Stats: HP 9166 ATK 6644
NP: Tenshin Kasyou Zanmai, Achieving Acala's Samadhi (Thanks Beast Lair, that shit was impossible to read) // AOE damage, low chance to stun, Burns (300 DOT) for 3 turns. [BUSTER]
Skill 1: Transformation C, Def+ for 3 Turns
Skill 2: Stalking B, Single target DEF- for 3 turns, but increases its ATK for 3 turns. (Probably upset by stalking)
Attack Pattern: Caster. Yes. Caster.
Cards: Q A B B B
Tamamo once said in Fate/ Extra that she had an e-mail friend whose idea of dealing with rivals in love was to trap them in a bell and set the bell on fire. This e-mail friend is none other than our very own Kiyohime, who is so fucking angry that her mind has permanently snapped and she has attained some sort of permanent rage-transcendence.
Although she was supposed to be a caster, her actions in life and her eternal rage cause her to be in a constant state of rage, putting the Angry Marines to shame. Possessing really TERRIBLE stats, Kiyohime's saving grace is the fact that she retains the ability to talk WHILE possessing Mad Enhancement EX, and the strange ability to attack like a caster although she's angry enough to punch eagles out of the sky - but she's too ladylike for that sort of thing, so she'll probably stalk it and hard boil its eggs for breakfast or something, I don't know.
Posessing a rare defensive skill that can be used off the bat, Kiyohime is an oddball servant - she's almost a utility berserker, if such a thing is even possible. Her noble phatasm is like God Force VER. AOE with Fire, and her EX attacks chain like that of a caster's. It is however somewhat unfortunate to note that her stats are lower than the other berserkers, and having her in a party is really 50% entertainment, 50% respect for stalking.
She isn't bad per se, being a little more difficult to kill as compared to, say, Lu Bu. Kiyohime is able to go out in a blaze of glory if she is used in a kamikaze attack with low HP - the DOT and chance to stun makes up for the lack of focus.
If it helps, she also talks quite a bit and threatens to kill you if you ever lie to her.
Don't ever feed Kiyohime to another Servant. She will haunt your rolls forever.
Forever.
Berserker: Darius III
Max Stats: HP 8763 ATK 7608
NP: The Undying Army of Ten Thousand, ATANATOI TEN THOUSAND // AOE damage, ATK & Def debuff 3 turns. [BUSTER] (I may be wrong on this one, I can't quite remember)
Skill 1: Golden Requiem B, Increases NP Gain for 3 turns.
Skill 2: Battle Reset A, removes debuffs from self, and heals self for a set amount. Amount healed increases with rank.
Skill 3: Battle Continuation A, UPDATE: Apparently only revives him with X amount of HP after death.
Attack Pattern:
Cards: Q A B B B
Darius the III, IE pretty angry guy with a mammoth and a room full of dead guys who want to maul your face. Apparently has some beef with Leonidas, but is not mad enough because he can still appreciate his bling to increase his NP gauge.
With a Mad Enhancement rating of B and an AOE + status NP, Darius III is really not my choice when it comes to berserkers. While it is true that he looks imposing and seems somewhat scary, Darius has a low attack stat compared to Lu Bu. Although he DOES have a bit more hp (400 odd), what is 400 odd HP to a berseker? Fuyuki SKELETONS PUNCH YOU FOR 350! YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDDDD
Ahem.
Darius isn't bad by any means, if paired with Ushiwakamaru or Saber, he can be used to consistently hit numbers and with some luck, use his NP faster than a damage-dedicated servant would be able to do so. Atanatoi Ten Thousand does acceptable damage and the defense debuff helps, as the debuff actually lasts. If you equip Darius with KALEIDOSCOPE, however, the whole fucking game changes.
You see, Darius has Golden Requiem. If you pull off a single Arts chain, as unlikely as it is, Darius can fire Atanatoi on turn 2, leading to an instant debuff. This should outright CRIPPLE enemies, and if you stack it with Tengu's Tactics, it is possible for Darius to cast Atanatoi AGAIN immediately after the first one wears off. This is a pretty niche function and requires a bit of set up and protection (so he doesn't just up and die) to pull off, but it's effective if done properly. Granted, Darius is a three star, so stapling mutliple copies of Atanatoi Ten Thousand together should be pretty doable.
He isn't my first choice, but he doesn't make the shit list. Good on you, big black golden bling man thing.
Berserker - Special Case
Spartacus
Now, I'm not even sure if Spartacus should be in the "avoid" section, so he gets his own section. Spartacus is a berserker, but he talks. He doesn't just talk, he talks about ACCEPTANCE AND LOVE. While in his METAL THUNDER UNDERPANTS. That's not all, his core skill enables him to regenerate HP for 3 turns. Yes, you didn't read that wrong. He really does that. If not for the fact that he was a one star with 5000 attack at the cap, he could really have some serious mileage. I suppose you could view Spartacus as a sort of berserker-Kojirou, he's easy to raise, his NP ignores enemy defense, deals ok damage, and HEALS HIM. For quite a LOT. Guy is basically fucking He-man - I don't know how to feel about Spartacus. It probably wouldn't do you much harm to try him out - and be amused by his strange quotes... and metal thunder underpants. Yeah. Stuff.
Berserkers to Avoid
Erik Bloodaxe
You know, I personally have nothing against viking-esq people with axes, but an attack stat cap of 6290 is trash. His curse support skill also decreases the ATK and DEF of a single enemy by two turns, but last I checked we were playing the Berserker game, and we were supposed to beat the living daylights out of people. Def down can be achieved with Kiyohime's NP - leave this viking on his longboat and go home.
Caligula
Caligula's core skill is "Masochistic Tendency". I'm serious. He decreases his defense to pump his attack. For three turns. Are you fucking serious? If this DOESN'T kill him and he lives long enough, however, he can use his NP, which has a high chance of sealing the skills and NPs of enemies for three turns. While this sounds pretty cool on paper, you need to remember that berserkers are already made of wet toilet paper, if wet toilet paper could hold sharpened implements of all shapes and sizes. Caligula is a mixed bag, and I don't know what his other skills do, so I can't really recommend him to anyone. And yes, that skill really annoys me. You don't see Lu Bu becoming less awesome just to punch people harder. HE SIMPLY DECIDES TO PUNCH PEOPLE HARDER. As it should be.
Asterios
Good core skill, crappy stats (6k ATK cap) and bad Status NP (no damage). All enemies ATK and DEF down for 6 turns sounds good on paper, but can this ox-headed moron even survive 6 turns? Bet you a 3-star all class EXP card he won't. Spoilers: he won't.
Conclusion: The Class in General
As of the time of writing, the concept of BALANCE is notably nonexistent in the minds of Delightworks. The Berserker scene is basically all about who can continue standing and hitting people on the head - much like an ill-advised drinking competition that almost always evolves into a fatal bar brawl.
The few berserkers who are "Good" will always remain "Good", and the two "economy" options will always remain respectable. If Delightworks changes class balance and mechanics this whole article may be invalidated, but I really doubt that they would make such a drastic change. If you're too lazy to raise a caster to use in Rome, just bring Heracles or Lu Bu along and bop stuff on the head - before they bop you on the head anyway.
The next issue... you know, my mind is too fried to think of the next issue, so here's a silly song to end the article instead:
The Freshzerker of Orleans
Innnnnnn West Fuyuki Gacha'd and Raised
Crushin' skeletons was how I spent muh days
Roaring, smashing, Buster Brave Chain all Cool
Soloin' some Ortas after tutorial school
When one day some Mashus, they were up to no good
Started goin MYNAME-LV1 in the neighbourhood
I got one little MYNAME in support and my master got scared
She said:
"You're movin' with your Kojirou and Saint Graphs to Or-leans."
Yeah. And that was my sign-off.
submitted by Atelier-Lynette to grandorder [link] [comments]

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